Friday, June 26, 2009

Old Friends

**

I think I spend too much time in my own head. It's warm and comforting and completely devoid of any common sense or limitation. Join me, won't you?

Lately I feel as though I'm stumbling around in a dark room - eyes wide open, brow furrowed in concentration, teeth digging mercilessly into my bottom lip (forming the first letter of the one go-to curse word that seems to acknowledge and alleviate frustration all at one time).

I've been in this room many times before - the same darkness has frequently overwhelmed me and forced me into submission - yet the room remains terrifying and unfamiliar. It's not terrain you ever get used to, is it? Darkness is always foreign no matter how well you know your surroundings.

Yet, I keep stumbling around because I'm convinced that eventually something's gonna give and there'll be a break in the brick-and-mortar of my days and the light will trickle sweetly through the cracks. I know, it sounds like I'm depressed doesn't it? But it's actually the opposite - I'm delighted because deep down I know that if I'd never known darkness, I couldn't recognize the light.

**