Tanning, Laughing and 1 Very Lucky Little Girl

So far our trip has been fabulous! We've laughed so much that my stomach hurts today and we did some tanning (I fell asleep in the sun cause I like 3rd degree sunburns) so I am a lovely shade of raw chicken. Yesterday we went to the market and bought a whole ton of fresh fruit and vegetables (later to be eaten with chips, vanilla ice cream and Pepsi) and Tasha and my Mom went on huge bender shopping sprees. It was lovely to see them both so delighted with all of their new clothes. Tonight we are going to "The Grapevine". It's a pub in these here parts and it's legenday - apparently this is the place to go if you want to feel good about yourself due to the large amount of trashy and unstable people that gather there. Nice huh? I'll just remove my "Christian Missionary" badge and put it over here with my back issues of Humanity Today...

There is one story I am putting off telling for I fear it paints me in a bad light. Please keep in mind it was very hot, I was very tired and she was REALLY asking for it. When we finally arrived at our gate (after the cross country trek from one side of the airport to the other) we noticed it. The yelling. The screaming and crying. HER. I glanced around to find who/what was making this tremendous fuss and I saw this little girl with shock blonde hair, tear stained eyes and her mouth open mid scream. She was about 4 years old and she was in my bad books immediately. As we were lining up to board the plane, she got louder and louder - she wasn't just crying beause she was upset, she was scream-whining "Mooooooom!!!!!! NO!!!!!!" over and over again. And her Mom simply stood there ignoring her and occasionally throwing a "Ssshh!" over her shoulder while she talked to her friend.

My skin was crawling and the blood was rushing to my face - I was so angry and so determined that the offending child would be sitting nowhere near me. I watched in horror as the other passengers cleared a space around them so no one had to be near that child. When they finally got on the plane, we had a blissful 2 minutes of silence before we too had to board. Of course, when I got on, I met eyes with the one other person in the world as livid as I was at that moment and she said (very loudly and while looking directly at the offending toddler) "I'm trying to get away from THEM, but they've just moved closer to me!!" I just said "Yeah ... I know ... " (I mean, what else can you say right?)

Please let me explain why I was so enraged in point form:

1) We were raised to not throw tantrums. If we EVER behaved like that in public, we'd only do it once.

2) I don't think ignoring your child when she's throwing a tantrum in a public place is the way to go about it. Discipline her for crying out loud - scold her! Do something but don't just stand there while your kid screams herself hoarse infront of 100 middle aged and easily annoyed passengers. I'm not a parent, so I don't know the whole story but this was one of those situations where you know the Mom just doesn't care/want to deal with it and the kid is just being a brat because she's used to getting her own way.

3) I wanted to say something but couldn't. That made me the most mad. It wasn't my place (as everyone else was already leaning over to comment on the child) but I so wish it was. My Uncle Geoff is terribly funny and mild mannered but he told me a story once where he was in line to pay for some groceries at Safeway when the child infront of him threw an epic tantrum. The mother stood there and did nothing to stop her kid from freaking out in a line of people and so my Uncle leaned over to her and said "Listen, are you going to discipline him or should I?" She immediately dealt with the situation and all was fine.

This little girl enraged me. I've never felt so much anger towards a child in my life. And her mother ... well, let's just say - actually, let's just not say. It's safer that way. In any case, my iPod served me well on the flight so I couldn't hear her screaming and crying like Linda Blair mid exorcism. Needless to say I glared at her mother when we met eyes at the arrivals gate and she stared back, defiant and proceeded to tie her daughter to the stroller with one of those kid leashes. Strollers have wheels lady, and you didn't lock them first. Classy parenting guys - learn it here.

More than Judging Something I Know Nothing About,
Jen

Quick Quick Quick!

Okay I am sick of being in this internet shop with the screaming baby, complaining Polish girl and that "smell" that's so strong you can practically SEE it, so this update will be speedy. We head out tomorrow morning so I should really be at home packing right now. Alas, I am a Crimmins so I am leaving it until the very last minute. Today (the wonderous last day of work) was tremendous! I actually got tons done and didn't leave my lovely boss with any mounds of paperwork to deal with.

I really don't have anything of substance to say so ... oooh! Here's something productive! If you're checking out my blog you've obviously got some spare time on your hands so ... go check out http://www.stephenjameslarsen.com or look him up on Youtube and watch his kick ass videos. Go show some support for our local talent guys. You heard it here first.

Also if you're putzing around (and have already taken my advice by leaving Steve an encouraging note on his Myspace or, (Lord help you), his Facebook) you can read about what's going on in Darfur. Show some support for ending the genocide folks! Visit www.savedarfur.org and sign a petition, donate some funds or even buy a shirt at www.cafepress.com that somehow helps by advertising the need ON YOUR PERSON. Love it.

Anyways, I'm done now. So take good care and look out for a post about my Mom and the adventures we will be having with her.

More than Using World Events and Steve Larsen as Filler,
Jen

TGFTTT

3 things I am thankful for this week:

1) We are heading off to England for 4 days starting on Thursday and to quote my Mom - the weather is supposed to be "absolutely gorgeous". The weather report shows an average of over 20 degrees for every day we're there. I am so so thankful for nice weather in which I will tan and drink cold beverages with the ladies.

2) Tomorrow is my last day at this job – my contract term is up so I will be looking for a new job when I get back from England. I am so glad it's over. Yes, it was mindless and quiet and so lovely but I couldn't take it much longer.

3) Steve Larsen. I am thankful for him for many reasons but mostly because even looking at a picture of him makes me laugh. Not that he's funny looking but when I was looking at a picture of him today (stalker alert!) I remembered some of the good times we've had together and I burst out laughing in the crowded internet shop. I like memories like that.

That's all for now. I will try to update once again before we leave for England but if I don't – Cheerio! And I'll blog when I get there. I may even post some awesome pictures of the girls and my Mom. She's hot. If you know her, you love her and if you don't know her – YOU WANT TO.
More than Stoked to Be Done Work,
Jen

Things I've learned from and about my Mother

1) Standing up straight and wearing a good bra really WILL make you look thinner.

2) If you can't make a decent cup of tea AND a decent rye and coke, you are expendable on a Friday night in Medicine Hat. (Luckily for you, my Mom is willing to teach you how to do both. But she won't tolerate any faffing about and she will only show you ONCE).

3) You can flirt your way out of pretty much any situation (putting Tips 1 and maybe 2 to use will aid in this endeavour).

4) Don't assume – it makes an ass out of you and the customer.

5) Any problem, and I mean ANY problem will seem significantly smaller after a trip to the Bin. Especially when you almost get arrested for defending your Mom's "right to party" by throwing a drink in the bartenders face.

6) Nothing completes a trip to Wal-Mart like Mom freaking out at McDonald's luke-warm fries and her refusal to buy her own drink.

7) I'm "too pretty for tattoos".

8) Christina and I are forbidden from marrying men who aren't exceptionally good looking. "I don't want ugly grandchildren" is filtered into every conversation about marriage and babies.

9) "Is everybody having a good time?! I want to see lots of happy smiling faces!" when said through Mom's gritted teeth will coax even the most reluctant individual into "full-on terrified party mode".

10) No one makes my Mom laugh like me. NO ONE.

More than Hoping I Turn Out Just Like Her,
Jen

What I'm Listening To Today:

**Updated -This is probably the most accurate description of my relationship with Christ I've ever read. Download it if you can or watch it by clicking right HERE!

Aaron Shust - My Saviour, My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at his word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my savior

That He would leave his place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God he is
My God He's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my king
Once died to be my Savior

Weird Things Went On Today

This first one isn't weird - I took a lovely black and white picture of my Fender. I just think it's pretty.

Fender and I shared our first kiss this morning. It was very romantic and everything I hoped it would be.

Okay ... this might be a stupid question but I am absolutely serious when I ask it ... ready ??

Is this water polo??? I have no idea what these guys are doing (I also didn't know I still had the camera in black and white mode) but there was a ball, some nets, tiny kayaks and a lot of yelling.

If that is indeed water polo - I watched it for a good 10 minutes before realizing that yes, they were actually TRYING to get to the ball. I thought it was just one of those "do this and look stupid and we'll all stand around and watch you things" - maybe for a charity or concert tickets ... but when I heard them screaming at eachother and saw all the other "teams" waiting in the background ...

I'm confused. Is this a sport?

More than Un-Sporty,
Jen

My Brand New Fender Acoustic Guitar

It's beautiful. It's lovely. It's quite possibly the most beautiful guitar to ever grace this earth. And it's brand spankin' new. In fact, it's a new model that Fender just released. I love it. It's made my day. Here's some lovely pictures of it:

Isn't is tremendously fabulous?! I had to take this less than awesome picture on a dirty Dublin sidewalk just so you fair readers could get the first glimpse.

A little closer up but couldn't get the full shot as we were on a dirty Dublin TRAIN hurtling through the city.


And of course, this is me DELIGHTED with my new guitar. I have waited many many years for the perfect Fender guitar to strum it's way into my life and here it is ... my day has been epic.

More than Smitten,
Jen

A Dress, A Mom and 4 Days of Excruciating Pain (May 17th)

Tina finally got the dress I sent her! Let the heavens open up to display the angels rejoicing and a single golden tear rolling down Christ's face. It's about time! I was so scared she wouldn't get it in time for my Dad's wedding in June - which I realize is still weeks away but still! She has it, it's lovely and she's going to look beautiful. As usual.

So I'd like to extend a welcoming hand and introduce you all (Muss, Tina, Shay and sometimes Sandra) to my Mom! She has entered the blogosphere and actually READS MY BLOG. So make her feel welcome - leave her a comment or two at the end of this post. Ah my readership - so loyal, so funny, so scarce these days ... I was kicking myself last night when I talked to her on the phone and realised that she's going to go back and read the archives of this blog (as any proud Mom would) and she's going to notice 3 things:

a) Her daughter is LAME.

2) Her daughter consistently struggles with double negatives and too many exclamation marks.

iii) Her daughter doesn't talk about her Mom nearly enough. Except for the time she crashed her Mom's car after joyriding in it without permission. And even then she blogged about it and acted like it was funny when her Mom still isn't able to laugh about it.

It's been nice knowing you all ...

**Stuff you really don't NEED to know warning** So, it's "that time" for me and any of you who know me (and hopefully that's all of you that are reading this ... it weirds me out that people I don't know may read this and start to feel like they know me - which is fine! I love lurkers ... but I especially love lurkers who make themselves known and don't figure out where I live from the info on this blog and come and cut me to pieces in the middle of the night) you understand that "this time" is very special and almost sacred (as I vowed that if I ever experience "this time" and "this pain" again, I wouldn't complain because God is blessing me with increased chances of having babies some day). However, "this time" is extremely painful. Blindingly so. Yesterday a couple of guys from IT were talking to me about nerdy computer stuff and I got such terrible cramps that I WENT DEAF. Seriously. I couldn't hear. I had to ask them to repeat everything which means I had to sit through their nerdy lecture all over again! I don't think they understood that the 2nd time they explained NT versus some other kind of something, I was crying out of BOREDOM not pain. Anyways, it's been 4 days and the pain hasn't lessened. I swear if I hadn't made that vow to the Lord, I would scream at the top of my lungs until I went hoarse and passed out. Anything but grinning and bearing it.

That's all I've got for now - but I am going to get something super cool this weekend so stay tuned for pictures. And no Mom, it's not another "bloody tattoo the size of your bloody head".

More than Cramped,
Jen

For My Sister

I hope this picture tribute will make you smile - I tried to show you what a day without you is like for me. Funny, strange, rambly and always a bit sad. So here's some random events to make you smile and some inevitable truths to remind you - I love you.

Haha, I hate that man - he thinks he's above God. Literally. So I squished him. A few times.

Reminds me of Mom and her love for Angels. Wish you were here to take goofy tourist pics with me.

Making crazy faces to make you laugh at Eddie Rockets. Some day we will dine together once again.

Typical "Jenny Posing". Check out those chubby cheeks and dimples. Rewind 21 years and I looked exactly the same. Just less body hair.

Rushing through Dublin on the bus. Everything passes so quickly aside from the time. I miss you so much I ache inside.

Another Dublin statue. Gorgeous, celtic and stone. Love it. I looked like an idiot standing under this statue in the middle of a busy street trying to take this picture. I suffered for you Tina G!

The river - cold and dirty. So much of this place seems to fit that description. The spirit of the city is cold and unwelcoming at the best of times. I miss laughing with you.

Things are starting to become green and lush again. No matter how green it gets though, part of me longs for the hilarious drive through Saskatchewan to Alberta with you. The scenary can't be beat in the summer. And yes, "I wanna shoop baby".

All those spaces and I still feel there's no place for me in this city sometimes. So full and so lonely.

Thinking of you while sitting on the bus. There's nothing comforting about that view. Cranes crowd the skyline while clouds push down them. It seems like it will rain forever sometimes.

Remember when this area was all black from bonfires?? Art has replaced derelict Spencer Dock - it's almost too abstract to appreciate at times.

A man was shot a killed right outside those doors. I feel so callous when I casually walk in to get groceries or bin tags. I know they can't close the shop in respect for the life taken but sometimes I wish they would so I wouldn't feel so guilty.

Count 'em Tina. 6 on each foot - as always. Wrinkled baby feet - isn't that what you called them? "Wrinkled baby feet on a six toed freak".

My hairy nose. Thought you might appreciate this close up - as unflattering as it is to me.

My dimples - oh how you love them. I couldn't take a picture of the "other dimple" and post it cause that sort of picture belongs on a different site all together.

Our dark East Wall street. It was cold today and I wanted to sit and watch movies with you.

Abercorn Road - would love to have you here to poke fun at all the strange goings-on around here. Even the SIGN is run down and dirty!

The building I look at about 12 times a day - we'd love to buy it and fix it up for the kids but we lack the money and drive. So for now it's just wasted potential. Like so many things around here.

The sky today - it was dark all day and I can't remember the sun making it's debut even once. I hate days like this - they remind me of Canadian Novembers. They remind me of hot chocolate and pajama's and period piece movies. Of Wal-Mart afternoons and sub-titled films that you'd force me to watch. Days like this remind of all the wonderful things we do together and they serve as a cruel reminder of the distance between us. I can't be there right now - despite desire and at times desperation - but please know I love you over the time, miles and phone calls that seperate us - it's only temporary. Temporary, unlike my love for you that is unyielding, unending and at times like these, indescribably and almost painfully strong.

I miss you and I love you.
Jenny/Kiddo/Loser/JJ/Baby J/Me

xoxox

Some Pictures

We went out for supper with Kat and Karen last night - thye were only here with us for 3 days but it was lovely to have them. We got to go to the beach, go shopping and just hang out and have a great time with them.

Kat got that shirt on a pub crawl - that's right, it's a picture of David Hasslehoff and it says "I Heart Berlin" on the front.

Kiki and I at Eddie Rockets last night - after this the girls went to see some Irish Dancing and Live Music and I escaped back home to talk to Muss until the wee hours.

I love this picture and I don't know why ... she's one of my favourite kids and this was such a cute day - it was taken on Kiki's birthday when the neighbourhood kids drew her a huge card on the road with sidewalk chalk.

A better, clearer picture of my new tattoo - (I know it's big Mom). It's healing nicely due to the excessive amount of lotion I douse it with daily.

Because you haven't seen enough visual testimonies of the hovel that is our flat - this little tree somehow made it's way out of the cracks in the linoleum and grew to that height before we chopped it down. We were going to let it grow until we remembered that Kat and Karen were coming and they probably wouldn't find it as funny as we did.

When Andrea was here, Kiki tried to give her dread locks and when that didn't work, she ended up with braided extensions. Kiki is wearing the extra blonde hair and blowing a kiss to complete the "look".

I can't remember for the life of me what made Tasha laugh THIS HARD when wearing that fake hair but I love this picture. So much joy in our house at times.

And this is the picture I promised the lovely Sandra - we were talking on the phone and I somehow managed to drop a mirror on my EYE. If you look very closely under my eye, you will see a very small bump - this small bump actually turned into a full fledged black eye after 2 days. I rock.

More than Tired of this Internet Shop,
Jen

WWAMW (May 9th)

Here's another little installment of What's Weird About Me:

1) The guy that sits across from me in the office is the NICEST guy. He goes out of his way to make sure he smiles and says "Good morning" to me EVERY day. But for some reason, I have made it my goal to avoid that enigmatic smile and greeting - I purposely try not to meet his eye. I make a game of it. Not because I don't want to say "Hello" or I find him unpleasant in any way (he's actually gorgeous) but I am intent on seeing if it's possible. So far I've broken down every time cause I can just feel him glancing at me to see if he can catch my eye long enough to corner me into a "Hi". He always wins ... and so the game continues.

2) I daydream a phenomenal amount for one person. Sometimes I will leave my desk, go to the bathroom and sit in the stall (on top of the toilet) and just daydream for like 15 minutes. At a time. I do this throughout the day. I PURPOSELY SET ASIDE TIME TO DO IT.

3) I love acronyms. Love them. Use 'em every chance I get.

4) I used to read the dictionary. And the phonebook. The phonebook was more so to make fun of people with funny last names like "Pooran" (we pronounce it poo-ran as in if poo had legs and it ran - someone would say "Where's Poo?" and his friends would answer "Poo ran!!". Anyways, I don't read the dictionary anymore cause frankly I don't own one AND I am addicted to www.dictionary.com (it's everything I love - definitions, a thesaurus, ONLINE). But sometimes when someone asks me what a word means and I don't know, I make up the definition that sounds the likeliest in the context (I break down the word to figure out what it might mean - yes, this sometimes means breaking it down into LATIN if I happen to recognize part of the word) and tell them that's what it means and then I am obsessed with getting to a computer to find out if I was right. I lead a sad life.

More than Worried About Myself,Jen

Ode to Canada (May 8th)

The Top 10 Things I've Noticed/Learned to Appreciate About Canada Whilst Living Overseas

1) It's clean. It's not like walking thru a dog poo mine field when you go for a walk.

2) The people are overly friendly. Whenever I thank a waiter/waitress, they look genuinely shocked. And sometimes upset. Perhaps genuine gratitude is mistaken for sarcasm? More about that when you hit # 9

3) It smells nice. I have always maintained that Regina smells like sausages but it is NOTHING compared to the early morning Dublin stench that we are privvy to on our way to work each morning. It's like poo and grease ... it could peel the skin off a monkey.

4) It's quiet. You know what we wake up to each and every morning?? Beer kegs being thrown off a truck and subsequently smashing onto the cement and bouncing around for a while. Over. And. Over. We live next to a warehouse and I have grown to despise it.

5) It's vast. There are over a million people living in Dublin - a MILLION people in this city and you can still feel so alone. The city itself is small and it gets depressing having to look way wayyyy up to see the sky over the all the cranes and high rise buildings.

6) It's well dressed. Dublin fashion is ATROCIOUS. And I mean completely abysmal. Leggings under tiny shirts? LEG WARMERS AND STILETTOS?! In Canada you can still get checked out in a bunny hug and jeans but here?? You won't get a second glance (unless it's in disapproval) if you're not decked out like the Dublin City girls are. It's not nice. And it's not hot.

7) It's safe. I know Regina has had some issues lately with inner-city violence but unfortunately Dublin has is trumped. In every way. I won't go into detail but it's brutal, it's often and it's too close for comfort.

8) Canadians know how to spell! I can't stress this enough. People in Dublin don't spell check before they publish things. We are constantly finding spelling errors on everything! I saw a t-shirt being sold in a shop that "Women were ment to be seen and not heard". Aside from being offensive, since when is that how you spell MEANT?!? And don't even get me started on the newspapers.

9) It's sarcastic. People here don't appreciate sarcasm. A well place sarcastic comment will result in pity laughs and someone always takes offense.

10) It's pretty. Dublin isn't pretty. Leave Dublin, and it's beautiful - but the city itself is an eyesore. My Mom calls it the pimple on the arse of Europe. And she's NOT being sarcastic.

More than Patriotic Lately,
Jen

A New Tattoo and Spiderman Three-mo!

Consider this the official unveiling of the cool thing I did this weekend. As the subject of this post suggests, I got another tattoo! (Don't worry Mom, I just have the 2 now). Kiki and I headed down to Art Tattoo and got some seriously cool ink done by Michele and the guys. Kiki was a brave little soldier and got hers done first which you can check out by clicking this little link right here. Seriously, she just kept saying "Ow, ow ow ow ... it hurts it hurts ..." and I took a ton of pics which you will be able to view a little later on.

As for mine, it was torture of epic proportions but it was totally worth it. (Sorry for the terrible picture ... I am working on getting better ones - I swear it looks really nice) The artist who inked me was Portugese, very flirtateous and affectionally referred to himself as "The Butcher" - he thought it was funny that I didn't laugh after he advised me that he was feeling a little "heavy handed today". I am so glad I went thru with it and despite some less than thrilled reactions from family, the overall experience was awesome. We would both whole heartedly recommend all the lads down at Art Tattoo - check out their site for some really amazing art and tattoos by clicking right about HERE.

Today we went to see Spiderman 3 which I have obviously taken to calling Spiderman Three-mo. It was decent and that's being generous - CGI was a little excessive and the acting was terrible (aside from the epically gorgeous James Franco) and don't even get me started on Tobey's EMO MAKEOVER half way in. It's cheesy, it's silly but it's good for a laugh. And, definitely a good movie to catch if you like falling head over heels in love with James Franco (which I recommend with every fibre of my being).

Anyways, let me know what you think of Spiderman if you watch it any time soon and definitely weigh in on my new tattoo.

More than in love with Mr. Franco,
Jen

The End of the Week. And The End of the WEAK.

So BAM! All of a sudden it's Friday! I am beyond excited for the weekend. I can't tell you why, though one of "you" already knows why. But tomorrow (Saturday), I am going to do something very very cool. So prepare yourselves for the unveiling of the "cool thing I did" as soon as we can figure out how to post the pics.

Today is a weird day - I've been at work for all of 45 minutes and I am already mentally checked out. Strange. Normally I don't have this problem so early on in the day - must be cause it's Friday. I talked to Muss last night who kicked ass (naturally) on all her ... well ... school things. I can't remember if they were classes or projects so we'll just say "things". Please don't assume this means I wasn't paying attention - I was trying to be quiet for Kiki who was trying to sleep and advised me (in a fairly nice way) that I'd better get off the phone, or get out of the room. So, I checked myself before I subsequently wrecked myself and all was well again.

Talking to Muss always makes me long for School. Besides the fact that she's pretty much graduating at the top of her class, she's all accomplished and stuff. I have made it my goal to graduate at the top of MY class when I got to school in Fall 2008. I will not settle for mediocrity my friend - mediocrity is for the weak! I am many things but I am not weak.Wow, where did THAT come from?!

More than Thanking God It's Friday,
Jen

What I HATE (May 3rd)

I hate it when I'm in a restaurant and a waiter/waitress/cook drops a plate or glass in the kitchen and some knuckle-head (seriously underused) CLAPS. That makes me so mad. How would you like it sir? How would you like to have your nose rubbed in it when you mess up at work? Here's what I'm going to start doing - the next time I hear someone clap patronizingly at the already horrified employee, I am going to follow that person to work the next day and just wait. I am going to wait as long as it takes. Hopefully this person works in an office so I can stand behind them while they're emailing and as soon as they make a spelling mistake I'm going to clap reeeeaaaaaalll slow and loud and say "Way to go Butterfingers ... yeah that's not how you spell "because". It's b-e-c-a-u-s-e not b-e-c-a-s-u-e. Wow, isn't your face red? Bet you're wishing there wasn't someone here to point out your little error hey? Bet it adds insult to injury to have a complete stranger sarcastically applauding your honest mistakes huh? Yeah ... yeah next time, more eating and less clapping Jack Ass!" And then, as if he hasn't had enough, I would take a plate and smash it on the ground next to his chair. I dare you to clap. I dare you.

More than Serious About That Game Plan,
Jen

Some More "Strange Jen Habits" (May 2nd)

a) When typing Dublin, I always seem to type DUBLING or FUBLIN. Sometimes I don't catch my error and THAT bothers me more than the spelling mistake does.

b) I get narcissistic and narcoleptic confused all the time. It started in High school and persists to this day.

c) I have a habit of rearranging numbers to make patterns. Example: my phone number: 086 249 5909 = 2468 999 500 or I add them up - so my Dad's house number in Regina - 4115 would add up to 11 and 1+1=2 and there's 2 people who live there, 2 cars in the driveway, 2 couches in the living room etc. I know, this is so weird (possibly weirder than any of the other things I do) and I do it with loads of things. Example:

If I'm on the bus, I add up license plates numbers and make acronyms out of the letters that relate to the person in that car. So my old license plate was 306 EFX = 3+6+0=9. 9 years ago I was 13 and my actions we having horrible effects (EFX) on my family - hence 306 EFX.

I am so weird. Also, I am determined that the word "weird" is always spelled wrong. Wierd, Weird, they're both WRONG to me. No matter what the dictionary says.

More than That "W" Word,
Jen

TGFTTT (May 2nd)

I am thankful for many things this week so it was hard to narrow it down to 3 - so, in lieu of torturing you with Thank God For 30 Things Tuesday, I've decided to honour the month's end with Thank God For These Things Tuesday (I promise to keep it to a maximum of 5)

1) My new book - I am reading "The Book Thief" and you guys really ought to check it out. The way it is written is almost poetic - it's very moving and completely unlike any book I've ever read before. It's also funny. Well ... not too funny cause it's about Nazi's but still ...

2) The beach - I've already mentioned the "suntanning incident" so I won't dwell but just allow me to say, I have managed to even it out and I now have a healthy glow all over my face and chest. It's a lovely thing. Thank you Greystones Beach. I now don't have to wear coverup which shaves a few minutes off my morning routine and makes my face breath a sigh of relief.

3) My Mom - she got a webcam recently and her excitement at us being able to see eachother when we talk was adorable. As soon as she appeared on the screen I burst out laughing (she has this affect on me) and she started clapping her hands like an excited toddler. Super cute.

4) My new sunglasses - I caved and bought aviators. Kiki thinks they're hideous (this coming from the girl who needed me to bandage her feet because her new wicker/sequin shoes cut her feet into mince) but I love them.

5) Saskatoon - I am so thankful for the city of Saskatoon that will soon be my home for a good couple years. The course I want to take sounds amazing and they have this incredible indoor rock climbing facility that I can't wait to abuse.

So that's all for now - not too painful hey? I just wanna wish Shay a very Happy Birthday also - she's 20 today!! Can't wait to see you Shay!!

More than Rushing This Entry,
Jen

Half a Tan and Strange "Jen Habits" (from April 30th)

After our little jaunt to the beach yesterday, I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror to see if I had gotten any sun. I was shocked and a little saddened to notice that "it" was still there. "It" being a tan line right down the center of my face. For some reason while suntanning yesterday, I could only get sun on one side of my body. I kept turning and adjusting and it still didn't work. So, by the end of the day one side of my face was red and warm and the other was white and cool. I figured it would go away and maybe even out a bit but NO, I woke up this morning with half my face a brownish-red and the other a whiteish-white. It's noticeable. It's stupid. It's time to self tan.

I've decided to start physically recording the awkward habits I've adopted in my recent years. They are varied and numerous and every time I catch myself in one of these habits, I make a mental note to a) stop doing it or b) write it down and share it with my loyal readers (thanks Muss). So, because I'm too lazy to stop doing them (I lack the discipline and motivation), I have opted for "plan b". I started recording them yesterday - I only have 2 so far but it was Sunday, my Sabbath so the weirdness was kept to a deliberate minimum. I will share these 2, as well as a few others that will undoubtedly spring to mind. Here we go.

Strange "Jen Habits"

1) Measurements. I can't cook. I'm not just saying that - I really can't. I have 4 trusted and true "recipes" that I can throw together if/when Domino's is closed, but that's it. I realized last night that this may be because I refuse to follow instructions. Case in point: as I made Hot Chocolate last night I INSISTED on checking the label for the proper measurements. The label advised "Place 2 heaping teaspoons into a mug of hot water/milk." I considered this and then took out a giant soup spoon and proceeded to ladle 4 heaped tablespoons into a mug the size of a shot glass. I caught myself and wondered aloud "Why do I bother reading the label when I know for a fact I will "adjust" it to whatever I see fit?" Maybe I just like to have the proper measurement in the back of my mind? Maybe I like knowing that I've broken the sacred Hot Chocolate rules? Maybe I enjoy the challenge of drinking my Hot Chocolate with a knife and fork because it's too thick for a straw? Anyways, I have no idea why I do this, but I know I do it with every kind of food measurement. I just read and then make up my own mind to use condiments, powder, salt/pepper, lemon, icing and milk with wild abandon. (By the way, the aforementioned ingredients are pretty much a comprehensive list of every material used to make one of the 4 dishes I mentioned above.)

2) One thing at a time. I have a religious way of eating. If I have a burger and fries, I absolutely have to eat the fries first and then the burger. The same goes with complex meals painstakingly prepared by my Mom. Example: Chicken dinner. We've got chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and a bun. I go in this order: veggies, bun, stuffing, mashed potatoes and chicken. It's not alphabetical, nor is it based on the location on my plate. I always follow the same pattern and I absolutely will not tolerate one food touching another. If my chicken touches my mashed potatoes I get upset. Not screaming and crying upset - but I have to seperate them and usually remove any hint of potatoes that may be on my chicken. Weird I know. This particular habit is (without fail) always pointed out by one or more visiting family members during Christmas dinner at which point I have to explain that "No, I'm not OCD, yes I know I'm just making things harder for myself, no I don't particularly mind eating my food seperately and YES Mom, I know that it tastes better when you have a little bit of everything on your fork but I can't help it. I don't like to eat that way!" And then things get awkward.

So for right now that's all I have for you guys - I will post again when I notice more. If I have a lot of crazy idiosyncrasies, I may turn this into a weekly thing.

More than Crazy,
Jen