Rumblings and Goings-On

They have a court date tomorrow. Our drug dealing, door slamming, pot smoking neighbours, that is. While Muss and I can't afford the time off work to go down there and heckle, we're delighted (once again) at the prospect of them losing their apartment. Is that mean? No ... no one likes mini-bike riding drug dealers. At least not in Canada.

Tina comes home for a visit in less than two weeks!! Thinking of how close she'll be (if only for a while) makes me really happy. And a little sad cause I know she'll have to go back to England eventually. Did I mention that? My sister lives in England with my Mom and I miss her desperately.

The song "I Am Colour Blind" just came on - I haven't listened to this song since highschool - which was an alarming 6 years ago. This realization comes on the tail of a somewhat disturbing dream I had last night. I was reunited with a couple guys from my graduating class and we were shooting the proverbial breeze. In the end, one of them was promising to save me because a girl I used to work with had gone on a shooting spree. Are my daily worries manifesting themselves via violence in my dreams? This is the second time I've had a dream about being shot/shot at in the last few days. This may be cause for concern ...

How I'm Feeling Today

A Little About Me

Full Name: Jennifer Leanne Gibson

Hometown: Medicine Hat, AB

Height: 5'5

Hair Color: Brownish ...

Eye Color: Dark brown


This or That

Coke/Pepsi: Coke please.

Cats/Dogs: Dogs!

BK/McD's: BK at the moment.

Paper/Plastic: Paper

Britney/Christina: Britney - believe it or not.


What's Your Dream...

Car: A Saturn Sky - in black.

Profession: Singer/guitar player, youth worker

Place: Jamaica, Mexico

Date: Mostly anything fun with Shayne

Paradise: Paradise would be ... happiness. Total happiness.


The Last Person To...

Say I Love You: Tasha texted me that today - but to say it? Shayne.

Hug You: Shayne

Kiss You: Shayne

Say Goodbye: Kiki

Text You: Muss


The Last Time You...

Cried: Last night

Laughed: This morning

Showered: Yesterday

Ate: 10 mins ago

Watched Cartoons: This weekend

Out Of The Seed Of Passion, A Vision Is Sown

I'm scattered and a little distracted these days. I'm trying desperately to decide what I want to do with my life, how I want to spend my time and, what God requires of me to achieve these goals. I really want to go to school and so far, Medicine Hat is looking like my best option, but there's so much involved with that - moving, leaving my new (and awesome!) job, and of course, being away from the people I love. I'm praying for clarity and wisdom - and rational thought. I tend to make big decisions on a whim just to get them over with and I gotta say - that's never worked out well for me in the past.

I think I'm going to start praying for passion - because I really do believe that God's sows a vision out of a seed of passion. I need a more passionate life.

More Than Prayerful,
Jen

Education At The Library

Andrea, Kiki and I went to see "Darfur Now" at the RPL this weekend. It was pretty amazing. I've always had a heart for Darfur, so it was awesome to see other people trying to do something for the cause. If you don't already respect Don Cheadle, George Clooney, and Governor Arnold you will after seeing this documentary. However, be prepared to despise the UN and the members of the Sudanese government who not only deny that what is occurring is genocide, they also HIRED and FUNDED (along with the US and China) the Janjaweed - the perpetrators of the atrocities in Darfur.

The documentary itself was heartbreaking and uplifting. I was enraged at the audacity of the UN, who refuses to acknowledge the genocide (props to the US for naming it so). While providing tonnes of food to refugee camps, the US makes sure to proudly mark their food bags with an American flag - that's right, make sure they know who to thank when it's all over. This display only feeds the dreams of the countless refugees who stated confidently to the cameras "The white men will come and save us. They will defend us" - we all know the truth is much more bleak. We're too busy pissing away millions of dollars and thousands of lives in Iraq - a war the US was arrogant enough to start and is now too proud to leave.

All I can say is thank God for the ending because the first hour or so was depressing. Reality usually is. But don't fret, the documentary doesn't portray Darfur as a "lost cause" but it does place the responsibility on our shoulders to take a stand for those who can't. To quote Don Cheadle "I don't know what we can do - but a lot more than nothing".

This weekend I think I might grab some friends and try and check out the Sunday double feature: "Lars and the Real Girl" (can't wait!) and "I'm Not There" (curiosity regarding a cross dressing Cate Blanchett). I'll let you know how that goes. In the mean time, start thinking of ways YOU can support the end to violence in Darfur.

More Than Wishing I Could Be In Darfur,
Jen

If You Step Up, I'll Step Up Boy

Oh the battle has ended. It was bloody, and hilarious. It was bloody hilarious. I prevailed and brought not one, not two but 4 FRIENDS with me to Step Up 2 THE STREETS! Oh my Lord. It was awful. The dancing was amazing though - I'll give it that. But aside from that, I spent the whole movie wheezing and laughing hysterically with Muss. We sang, we chair danced and we most definitely annoyed the people in front of us.

It was pretty much abysmal. Pretty much. But the below music video is a comprehensive review of the amazing dance moves - check it out. There's no "acting" so you won't laugh as much as we did, but it's still cool.



More Than Dancing In My Chair,
Jen

The Art Of Showering

I don't understand it. I simply can't wrap my mind around it. Why? Why does it always happen? It seems that every morning, 7 days a week, when I get up to have a shower, every single other person in the building has synchronized their shower time! I mean it! You're probably reading this thinking "Oh that Jen, she's just exaggerating - it can't be that bad!" Allow me to correct you, my friend. I can't think of the last time I had a shower that didn't involve squealing and screaming when the hot water would deplete to nothingness with absolutely NO warning. This morning was especially delightful as I was running late and just as I turned on the shower, so did Not-So-Hot-Doctor above me. For some reason, his need for hot water trumps my own and my shower turned to ice. Immediately.

So, the only logical thing for me to do was step out of the shower (read: throw myself through the shower curtain, on to the gripless bathroom mat and subsequently smash my body into the towel-less towel rack) and turn off all the cold water in hopes that some hot water will remain. I ended up with luke warm water (running only the hot tap) for about 35 seconds (just long enough to get shampoo in my eyes) until Not-So-Hot-Doctor decided he'd had enough and turned off his shower. Suddenly, what was luke warm turned scalding hot and what used to be skin, turned immediately to jerky.

I hate our shower. My hair is frizzy and my whole body hurts from hurtling out of the shower for the second time, only to find that my last exodus from the tub had left a menacing puddle on the floor where I happened to step. Awesome. Bruised, frizzy and traumatized from bathing.

So next time you take a shower, remember how lucky you are to have consistent hot water.

More than Frazzled,
Jen

I Love This Man

Okay, caution : This post will be shamelessly lovey dovey. Just so you know. You can't complain and make fun of me now because I warned you.

Last night Shayne called me and had made a difficult decision - I'm not the easiest person to stand up to (so I've heard), so it must have been difficult for him to know he was going to disappoint me. I'm not going to go into details because there's certain things that don't belong in the blog-o-sphere, but trust me - this was a difficult conversation for us to have. The basic idea is Shayne decided that to honour me and put me first in the way that he wants to - some things in our relationship need to change. I've never had a guy respect me so much and put me first - so I was totally freaked out. Totally.

Shayne is like ... this perfect, awesome guy that every girl would love to be with. He opens my car door for me, won't let me pay for anything, buys me flowers constantly, never stops telling me how much he loves me and how beautiful I am and he really, truly wants to show me how much he appreciates me and wants to respect me. Sometimes it causes me to pull away from him because I'm not sure how to let him love me that way.

And some of you will be glad to know (Tina), he takes NO CRAP from me. None. He calls me on all my shit and doesn't let me play games - but he does it in this way that isn't patronizing or obnoxious ... he just loves me and knows me so well already that he feels comfortable exposing all my little issues and loving me through them. It's unsettling being known so well by someone -that kind of vulnerability has never been sought out by me - I don't like being "known" because then I've got no control. And in this relationship, man ... Shayne is way more in control than I am. But I trust him ... I trust that he's leading me somewhere I want to go ... somewhere I need to go. I think I need someone like him to show me how I deserve to be loved. And if anything, these days ... I feel loved.

More than Mushy,
Jen

Music Meets Dancing

The concert was incredible. My favourite part? (Aside from Muss noticing our manly waitress and saying "It's nice to see Hilary Swank is getting some work") When the lead singer played his electric guitar with HIS TONGUE. Oh my Lord. He then also played it with a drum stick. Lord help me - I would kill to be that talented. We weren't allowed to take pictures but I doubt the image will ever leave my mind anyways.

We then decided to rent "Step Up" and Muss bought "Take the Lead". That's right folks - music meets dancing at our apartment tonight. I'll keep you posted on my battle to make someone go see "Step Up 2" or "Meet the Spartans" with me tomorrow.

More Than Going To Prevail,
Jen

Open Windows

It's mid afternoon and I am in the best mood. I've got all of the windows open in our apartment and am loving the smell of melty snow. I think I'll put some tunes on.... Bummer. I hate putting the sattelite radio on in anticipation of some good music and hearing Avril Lavigne wailing at me that I make her so HOT. Ugh.

Today is going to be an awesome day.

Kiki and I are going to the Warhol exhibit at the Gallery and then maybe some light shopping and then .... Wide Mouth Mason!! I'm so excited to go to this concert with Muss! From what I can tell, we got pretty decent seats - not to mention I've never really been to a concert. It will be a cool experience for sure.

This past week at work was pretty awesome - there's tons that I've done wrong and had to go back and fix but nothing major. Best part of my week? Making my boss laugh so hard that he had tears in his eyes. Ah yes ... this is the place for me. Also, I got beautiful Valentine's flowers from Shayne, not to mention a c.d. and a beautiful card. Awww. I know, I'm a dork. Whatever.

I also went on a Shopping Spree that I most definitely could NOT afford. But I got some nice clothes - pictures to come. So I'm trying to push past Buyer's Remorse and just enjoy my new items (that include 3 of the coolest bras known to man). Wow, this post is all about NOTHING. Sorry guys.

Anyways, enjoy this beautiful Saturday - and this long weekend!!! I know I will.

More than Poor From So Much Shopping,

Jen

Valentine's, Teddy Grahams and Other Random Thoughts

So ... it's almost the end of my first week alone at my job. And hey, I still love it. I've managed to complete most of the tasks at least ONCE without error and sometimes, without questions! The guys at my job have been so helpful and surprisingly tolerant of my simple questions. I'd be lost without these lads. Just thought I'd update you. Tomorrow is my first payday from this job - it's the same amount of money for only 7 days work at 14 days at any of my other jobs. I can't wait until I get a paycheque for a full two weeks.

I have recently re-discovered Teddy Grahams. Lord, the joy these little guys have brought to my life over the years. I am eating them now and I am blissed out because of it.


Today is Valentines and I am considerably more excited about it than I was last year. I think it's because I have Shayne but also because I'm not in Dublin. That always helps. I still don't understand the big deal that gets made out of it - but I'm willing to admit I'm excited to spend some time with Shayne today in particular. We've been seeing eachother every couple days lately and it's made me very ... happy. Giddy, almost. We laugh a lot and I spent a good 20 mins last night trying to convince him that I really AM a Kung Fu Master. He laughed really hard and totally didn't believe me. Bastard.

Aside from that, just wanted to wish you guys a Happy Valentine's Day and if you want to know the true, romantic story behind this day - talk to Tasha.

More than Valentine'd,
Jen

American Politics and Brussel Sprouts

I just got off the phone with my sister. Who doesn't love this girl? She's not only a stone cold fox, BUT, she's also wicked smart. We talked about American Politics and finished our conversation with the usual "I love you's" while Tina chowed down brussel sprouts. WILLINGLY. We both are amused that we know more about U.S. politics than Canadian. Although, I suppose I'd be a lot more interested in Canada's government if it was as fraught with scandal and mis-management as the U.S. is.

I have started a new job since I last posted. I've been there all of 7 days and I'm already nervous and dreaming about it every night. The past week has been dedicated to training - but seriously, there's so much to know that I could have used another month. At least. I was telling Tina, this is the first job I've ever had that I feel uses ALL of my brain and training. It's not mindless in any way and that's terrifying to me. I just don't want to mess this up - the benefits and pay are outstanding but there's so much responsibility. Like Tina said, I think I really will be earning every penny I make.

Aside from my new job, there's not much else going on. Our apartment finally feels complete with the hand-me-down dresser (for my room!) and loveseat we had given to us. It's warmer and homier - so we both love that. It's still an unsightly mess but that's to be expected. We should be used to it by now.

I'm toying with the idea of heading to England for a couple weeks this summer ... not sure if I'll be able to afford it or if it's even a good idea given how new I am at my job ... but we'll see. Hopefully I can make it work cause I miss my girls!!

More than Flu-Like,
Jen

Ding Dong Merrily On High ... I'm Updating My Blog

Happy Holidays!! I'm home for Christmas for the first time in 2 years!! I am discovering with every passing day how much I hate the bloody snow. I hate it. I despise it. And I am apparently determined to wear sandals until my toes fall off from frost bite. So I'm cold a lot. I haven't blogged in over a month - and to be honest, I haven't even noticed. I've been so busy with work and moving into my new place that luxuries like blogging and ... well ... bathing have been far from my mind. (Only half of that is true.)

So, I'm all moved into my new apartment with Muss ('bout time!) and we're loving it so far! It keeps getting more and more "home-y" as we acquire more and more used furniture. Yay! Everything in this house has been passed down by some generous soul who either felt bad for us, or just wanted to clean out their basement. Either way, we totally scored some awesome stuff.

Since returning from Ireland, I still feel like there's not enough hours in the day. I sleep a lot because of my work schedule but I can't seem to rest. I know God is on the move BIG TIME in me, but resting in Him seems near impossible. There's a lot going on in my life that is pushing me towards prayer (a new relationship, work, family etc) so I find myself constantly trying to squeeze in time with the Lord. Even when I do manage, it feels so rushed that I come away feeling guilty and frustrated. I'll have to start planning my time better.

That's about it for now - that's my life. Blessed ... so very blessed ... but so busy. I'll try to update semi-regularly now. But no promises. Hey, if the Lord can't have my time, neither can you!

More than Jolly,
Jen

New Job, New Apartment, New Joy

Right now I'm at work. I'm sitting in the kitchen, waiting for my 3rd batch of cookies to be done. I know - how very "Suzy Homemaker" of me. But don't worry - I'm sure I'll burn something soon. Since returning to Canada, I've noticed my life take a brand new shape. It's fuller - more ... rounded. That's right, my life is now fat.

I've started a new job and I love it. I work at a Private Care Home for Seniors and it' s probably the best job I've ever had. I work 11pm-7am, 5 days a week. Basically while the residents are sleeping, I check on them, back them cookies/cakes/pies etc and watch t.v. (or peruse Facebook when Kiki lets me bring her laptop to work). My boss is this beautiful eccentric woman who truly loves what she does - she makes this fun. She really cares about her staff too - she lets us wash our scrubs at work, have our friends come over to help us bake and she tells us she loves us. Yes, my life is so hard.

I am also moving from Shelley's into an apartment with Muss. I can't believe the day is finally here that Muss and I will actually be living together. It's exciting for a thousand different reasons but really - we just can't believe we're actually going to do it. We've paid a deposit so there's no turning back now. There's just so much to do!

I'm working a lot right now - 17 hours a day to be exact. So when I'm not working, I am sleeping blissfully in Shelley's basement and trying to squeeze in time with my girls. It's hard not seeing them whenever I want, but I can't help but remind myself - "It will be worth it on payday!"

So that's it for right now, I am just learning to be mature with money, trying to re-establish myself in my church and my family and ... well ... learning to strive for more.

Is this what growing up feels like? ... Huh ....

More than Pondering ,
Jen

Things I Love

In keeping with my last post, I've decided to make another list. This time, Things I Love - trust me, I AM going somewhere with this.

I Love ...

1) When I hug the dog and can still smell my Mom's perfume on the top of her head - I love knowing she gets loved so much that she permanently smells like Mom.

2) When Tina gets "the after dinner giggles" and pinches my face and goes a little crazy.

3) Waking up at 2am cause Muss has texted me with some ridiculous detail about her day.

4) Looking in the mirror right before I finish getting ready for a girls night out - my Mom always comes up behind me and tells me how beautiful I am.

5) MY NEW STRAIGHT HAIR!!

I know it's a short update but we're heading out to get fish and chips (pizza for me!) and I don't have enough time for a long one. I'm sure my ever-growing readership will be more than understanding.

More than Hungry,
Jen

13 Things That Are New

Okay I am only giving myself 13 minutes to complete this post (including sign-in/sign-out time) cause I need to clean this house before Tina gets here! Woo! Thanks for coming to visit Tina -

Mom's working and I'm cleaning. Awesome.

** Since I last posted ... **

1) I have developed a love for Carrie Underwood that I thought I would be ashamed to admit to - but I am delighted to report that I'm not. She's great - and very talented, if not a little twangy.

2) I have developed a terrible case of Sciatica. Ouch.

3) I won money at the dog races and solidified my desire to get into addictions counselling.

4) I have hated army wives, despised army wives and had my faith restored in army wives in the space of a week. (Full explanation to come, when I'm not being timed)

5) I bought my first Ireland souvenir that's just for me and no one else.

6) I discovered that I am arriving back into Regina (via Calgary/Med Hat) on the exact day we left for Ireland 2 years ago - October 13th. Eeerie.

7) I am running out of time.

8) I've helped my Mom set up TWO MP3 players in the space of 2 days and she's returned both. Cause she wants an iPod.

9) I told her to get an iPod in the first place and she didn't listen. Argh.

10) I've laughed harder than I have in a long time with the girls.

11) I rolled down a hill - it's been years and the dog definitely didn't appreciate this little detour in our daily walk.

12) I learned "Amazing Grace" on guitar

13) I found out that my stepdad hung out with Ewan McGregor in Iraq yesterday. (A little extra info - totally didn't remember how hot Ewan is until I saw this picture)

That's it, whew! Almost didn't make it! Now, a few pictures and we're done.

More than 13 Minutes Later,

Jen

Reunited

I found my cousins on Facebook. The ones I love the most and miss terribly - I found them! This is more exciting than you guys will know - I haven't spoken to them in ages and I haven't really made much of an effort to re-enter their lives. You know how sometimes you stay away for fear that you love them more than they love you? I should have known better - they love me too. And I bet if I asked them, they'd say they always have.

Man, I've missed my brothers.

More than Overjoyed,
Jen

Look Alive People! Look Alive!!!

Okay okay, sorry about the "slit-my-wrists-depressing" last post. And thanks to my amazing friends who are so encouraging and incredibly hot. Here's something a little less Debbie-Downer (10 points and a Coke Slurpee if you get the reference). I am now totally hooked on Grey's Anatomy. Seriously, I get excited, I cry, I laugh, I get angry (though not as angry as Tasha, who seems to lose her mind at least 12 times during every episode!) and I love it. I was determined not to give in but once I saw one episode, I was just done. AND, whenever it's on here, it's a double-bill so we get 2 episodes. Man, this is the life.

We also got a new couch yesterday (pics to come)!! Apparently the old one was the source of my new bed-bug bites, so our landlord ponied up a new one. Yeah, it's a futon. Whatever though, can't complain much cause it's brand new and free. So woo hoo!

I discovered some old pictures from last year on Kiki's digi-cam so they're up on my Facebook. AND, check out this cute picture from when Tasha's friend (and now MY friend) Marcelle came to visit! Isn't she a doll?! ISN'T MY HAIR JUST STUPID LONG?!

Another little piece of news is the 2 other girls in my department gave notice on Friday. Yeah, they're done at the end of the month, leaving me with 15 guys. I am now the ONLY source of estrogen in my whole department (and if you know anything about my hormone imbalance, that's not saying much!). It will be interesting to say the least ...

That's all I got for now, so I am going to pepper this post with some pictures and then head home for Shealagh's home made Bandera bread!!!

More than Stoked for BP's like food,
Jen

I Haven't Been Myself Lately...

So, things are crazy and it's hard not to get discouraged. Work has been uncomfortable since the week I started - I won't go into detail because it's unnecessary, but I've had some trouble with a couple of the guys on my team. I feel like I can't rest with the situation hanging over me like a giant reminder of my past. I haven't done anything I regret ... but I hate that I considered it. I'm not as strong as I think I am ... and it's good that I learned this now before returning to Canada thinking I've got it all together.

Waiting for "him" is hard ... especially when I thought I had found him ... it's stupid and I hate being one of those girls who blogs about her "nowhere to be seen future husband" but I need to write it out of my system. So, here it is. I feel him ... I can sense him - not in a physical way but in my soul. I ache for him - not just to find him but to pray for his protection, for his heart - I ache to pray him out of the situations I know he's facing. And I can't see him anywhere. I'm not even looking anymore because I know I'll just know it when we meet - but I'm discouraged by being surrounded by jack-ass guys all day who turn guy-girl relationships into something so perverse that it makes me sick. I'm starting to lose hope. Not that he's out there and not that I'll find him - I'm losing hope that he'll be what I want him to be when I actually find him.

What if he's just a huge disappointment ? What if he's just like the others ... ?

More than Overanalyzing This Situation,
Jen

Sorry for the lack of Postage

I've been mental busy with work and the girls and living an extremely non-busy life - so I haven't posted much. And I'm lazy. Really lazy. So here's some pics of recent events - maybe if I post enough pictures you won't notice the serious lack of content on my blog. Maybe.

Okay .. nevermind - the PC I'm on won't let me post pictures today ... so we'll have to do it another day. Sorry everyone - cause I know you were really excited and all.

More than hoping this works next time,
Jen

New Job, Less Rain, Hot Internet Shop and Girls I Miss

Honestly, are they AGAINST opening the door in this place?! There's one tiny little fan circulating the stifling air in this whole net shop. Bah. Anyways, it's not nearly as rainy today - it's muggy and very still - and the sky is dark. Tutt, tutt looks like rain. Of course.

I went for my job interview at The Bank yesterday - it was brutal. The position is the manager of the whole IT department. I've never worked in IT. I know nothing about IT. I am the most under qualified person for this job. And yet they still hired me - for far more than I'm worth. I swear - they must have been desperate. But somehow all my customer service experience = 10 years experience in management and IT. I just don't get it. I mean, thank the Lord for my job - absolutely - but by the time they train me, I'm gonna be leaving the country. Of course, they don't know that. By the sounds of things they think I'm a lifer. Anyways, yeah - I got a new job and it's great. I just have no idea what I'm doing and I start Monday.

Whew. At least the whole interview thing is over. The whole process took an hour and a half (because he was so impressed, he called his colleague to come meet me and I had to explain my experience all over again...) and by the time it was over we were talking about dress code and cell phone usage. Nice. In the end, it's great - I got the first job I interviewed for. No more interviews for me. But I do have to wear a suit every day. 2,000 thumbs DOWN for that. I look like Tommy Callaghan in a suit. (10 points to anyone who gets the reference).

I'm signing out now cause Shealagh is looking bored. Will update later this weekend if I can think of anything gripping to say.

More than Sarcastic Today,
Jen