Meredith recently wrote about feeling like a "sell-out". I can't imagine why she would feel that way as I see her as so much more than she does. But I'm going to take this moment to write about potential. Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be living a grand and epic adventure. I look at the next 3 years (or so) of my life and they are pretty stable - school, work, friends, - summer, winter, fall, spring - and so on. I have a great life and if it was to continue the way it is, I would count myself even luckier than I already do. But what about all of those missed opportunities? The expanse of my future stretches before me and the plane is soft and flat - while I find that lack of threat very comforting, I squirm at the thought that I'm missing out - that I could be exhausted and excited, exploring something or somewhere that could change my life. I find myself willing a giant fucking mountain to spring up in the middle of that plane and turn my world upside down.
I don't want to miss out. I know that I have potential and I believe that I am meant for something "more" than this life I'm living now, but God help me - I want to see things. I want to be knee deep in new experiences, terrified and burdened with the knowledge that there's so much more "out there" and I don't have the time to fall in love with it all. Unbridled exploration of rivers and rainforests, people who live in trees, people who have nothing, people who have everything, the Taj Mahal, the Sistine Chapel, the Parthenon, new languages, new countries, new food - drinking myself silly in Tijuana, surfing (yes, surfing) in the Caribbean, early morning coffee in Colombia, a journey to Mecca, a journey to the mouth of an active volcano, a journey to an underwater biosphere ...
A journey to the center of everything and everyone I've ever wanted to experience. A life lived in fullness. I refuse to accept anything less.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Can you imagine a year of just doing everything mentioned in that second last paragraph? I too, want adventure. I want to be surrounded by the thought that we are just so small in the grand scheme of things. When I look up into the heavens and see millions of stars, it blows my mind; I feel so small but also so lucky to be part of a universe so beautiful. We must take things in baby steps when we have prior commitments such as 'school' or 'work'. Take time out of your day to witness the stars, or just stand outside in a warm rain storm or seriously, smell the flowers. When you give the world some time, even the smallest things seem so huge. Someday Jen, even if you don't do any of those things mentioned, I think you will have made such an impact on so many lives that all you have to do is look around you. We are your happily twinkling stars.
I 100% believe in your potential and in YOU- you can do anything and I believe you will make such a difference in this world and in peoples lives (you already have).... travel, explore, have adventure after adventure!! You can do it all my love!!!
Post a Comment