Wake Up

I would just like to say, this song perfectly describes my life right now:

Take A Bow - Rihanna

You look so dumb right now,
Standin' outside my house,
Tryin' to apologize,
You’re so ugly when you cry,
Please, just cut it out.

Talkin’ 'bout girl,
I love you, you’re the one,
This just looks like a re-run,
Please, what else is on.

And don’t tell me you’re sorry 'cause you’re not
When I know you're only sorry you got caught
And the award for the best liar goes to you

Oh yes, it's angry. And so am I. I find it absolutely astonishing how some people behave. How can someone justify treating another person (a FRIEND, even) with such utter disregard and then have the gall to blame it on God?! "I'm just in a bad place right now/I need healing/God's working on my heart". Don't do that - don't you dare bring God into it. If you can't behave in a way that brings glory to God, don't you dare use His name to justify your behaviour.

I give a lot of grace to my friends. I've been given a lot of second chances and I feel it's only appropriate to give others the opportunity to make good. But I got duped this time. Again. Sorry guys - I need a second. Just allow me to do something important:

I trusted you - I gave you second, third, fourth, thousandth chances and each time I actually believed with everything in me that you would pull through - that you'd shape up. But the sad thing is - you never did. You played me and I hate you for it. I hate that I let you get so close, I hate that I let you know me, I hate that you read me so easily now - I hate being known by someone who so obviously doesn't know themselves. And I hate that you made me doubt myself - that you made me second guess my decisions. That you made me naive for a season. Because I'm not stupid, I'm not reckless and I'm not naive. And you know what? You don't know me. Not anymore. Cause you've never seen this side of me - the side that won't let you in anymore, won't let you near me, won't let you have an opinion about my life. The side that chooses ME over YOU. The side that decides to protect myself - because you so obviously aren't going to.

Welcome to the new side of me. Now get the hell out of my life.