Before going to bed last night, I had a long and hilarious talk with my Mum. We were discussing the funny insults that we've heard over the years - all of mine have been hurled at me over the phone by angry customers. Yesterday's classic example? "You're the biggest pack of FILTHY GANGSTERS!!" and I've also heard "Your company is nothing but a shower of f*
ckers". By this time my Mum was completely hysterical - she loves a clever insult but the Irish seem to have taken the cake. We then reminisced about all the phrases she used while she (and I!) were growing up. When I was younger, it wasn't entirely uncommon to hear this bellowed across the house: "Oi! You lot! Turn that noise down!! Blimey, somebody put a tent over this circus!!" I have carried this term into my adult life and use it frequently when things around me get a little mad. But my absolute favourite term has got to be "cluster-f*cked". Yes it's obscene and offensive, but it's absolutely fabulous. It's the perfect way to describe something that's gone all pear shaped - "Oh... everything's all cluster-f*cked now!"
So, as we were wrapping up the conversation, I asked my Mum for my Aunt's phone nu
mber - she was about to go to bed, so she went to the living room and flicked on the light to find her address book. Well, I heard her shout and she came running back to phone quite out of breath. She then continued to tell me how she turned on the living room light and there was some kind of explosion and there were "red bits falling from the ceiling!". She said it was like "fire and brimstone!" and she wasn't amused when I asked if it could be likened to the Second Coming of Christ. I keep thinking her light bulb exploded but she's convinced it was some form of electrical explosion. So I eventually got her off the phone and safely into bed - and I went to bed. It seems that certain elements of my conversation with her leaked into my dream - resulting in this story:
ckers". By this time my Mum was completely hysterical - she loves a clever insult but the Irish seem to have taken the cake. We then reminisced about all the phrases she used while she (and I!) were growing up. When I was younger, it wasn't entirely uncommon to hear this bellowed across the house: "Oi! You lot! Turn that noise down!! Blimey, somebody put a tent over this circus!!" I have carried this term into my adult life and use it frequently when things around me get a little mad. But my absolute favourite term has got to be "cluster-f*cked". Yes it's obscene and offensive, but it's absolutely fabulous. It's the perfect way to describe something that's gone all pear shaped - "Oh... everything's all cluster-f*cked now!"So, as we were wrapping up the conversation, I asked my Mum for my Aunt's phone nu
mber - she was about to go to bed, so she went to the living room and flicked on the light to find her address book. Well, I heard her shout and she came running back to phone quite out of breath. She then continued to tell me how she turned on the living room light and there was some kind of explosion and there were "red bits falling from the ceiling!". She said it was like "fire and brimstone!" and she wasn't amused when I asked if it could be likened to the Second Coming of Christ. I keep thinking her light bulb exploded but she's convinced it was some form of electrical explosion. So I eventually got her off the phone and safely into bed - and I went to bed. It seems that certain elements of my conversation with her leaked into my dream - resulting in this story: 
The dream opens - I am chained to a small red car. Outside a casino. I guess the chains (that were around my ankles) were fastened somewhere in the wheel well. I didn't panic so I guess I must have been used to it. Then I saw my Mum - she was really really mad. Probably because I didn't appreciate the severity of the lightbulb explosion. She comes right up to me and starts yelling incoherently about how I am going to stay chained here until she kills me. KILLS ME. My Mum was going to kill me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Kris and Muss sitting in the back seat of the car I was chained to - they are looking out the back window and I kept mouthing to them "Save me! You guys need to save me!" So, somehow they detached the chains from the car and drove off - even though they were still in the back seat.My Mum then took the chains off my ankles and shoved my feet into some runners. There wa
s a tracking device attached to them and she informed me that they would explode if I moved more than 50 feet to the left/right of where I was standing. She then left to go gamble!! So, I then saw my naked cousin - who is a 23 year old man but had the body of a 16 year old girl. We sat against the wall talking and hoping my sneakers wouldn't explode. Then, my Mum 
started chasing me around the casino and I hid in the bathroom, huddled on top of a toilet. Then Muss burst in with Kris in tow to save my life!! They dragged me out of the casino just before the whole place burst into flames! It was completely bizarre.So that's basically it for my dream and my evening last night. What an awkward dream ... I can't wait to tell my Mum that she threatened to kill me in my dream - she will LOVE that.
1 comment:
All those pictures were fantastic! I liked the nun one.
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