Sunday, May 13, 2007

For My Sister

I hope this picture tribute will make you smile - I tried to show you what a day without you is like for me. Funny, strange, rambly and always a bit sad. So here's some random events to make you smile and some inevitable truths to remind you - I love you.

Haha, I hate that man - he thinks he's above God. Literally. So I squished him. A few times.

Reminds me of Mom and her love for Angels. Wish you were here to take goofy tourist pics with me.

Making crazy faces to make you laugh at Eddie Rockets. Some day we will dine together once again.

Typical "Jenny Posing". Check out those chubby cheeks and dimples. Rewind 21 years and I looked exactly the same. Just less body hair.

Rushing through Dublin on the bus. Everything passes so quickly aside from the time. I miss you so much I ache inside.

Another Dublin statue. Gorgeous, celtic and stone. Love it. I looked like an idiot standing under this statue in the middle of a busy street trying to take this picture. I suffered for you Tina G!

The river - cold and dirty. So much of this place seems to fit that description. The spirit of the city is cold and unwelcoming at the best of times. I miss laughing with you.

Things are starting to become green and lush again. No matter how green it gets though, part of me longs for the hilarious drive through Saskatchewan to Alberta with you. The scenary can't be beat in the summer. And yes, "I wanna shoop baby".

All those spaces and I still feel there's no place for me in this city sometimes. So full and so lonely.

Thinking of you while sitting on the bus. There's nothing comforting about that view. Cranes crowd the skyline while clouds push down them. It seems like it will rain forever sometimes.

Remember when this area was all black from bonfires?? Art has replaced derelict Spencer Dock - it's almost too abstract to appreciate at times.

A man was shot a killed right outside those doors. I feel so callous when I casually walk in to get groceries or bin tags. I know they can't close the shop in respect for the life taken but sometimes I wish they would so I wouldn't feel so guilty.

Count 'em Tina. 6 on each foot - as always. Wrinkled baby feet - isn't that what you called them? "Wrinkled baby feet on a six toed freak".

My hairy nose. Thought you might appreciate this close up - as unflattering as it is to me.

My dimples - oh how you love them. I couldn't take a picture of the "other dimple" and post it cause that sort of picture belongs on a different site all together.
Our dark East Wall street. It was cold today and I wanted to sit and watch movies with you.

Abercorn Road - would love to have you here to poke fun at all the strange goings-on around here. Even the SIGN is run down and dirty!

The building I look at about 12 times a day - we'd love to buy it and fix it up for the kids but we lack the money and drive. So for now it's just wasted potential. Like so many things around here.

The sky today - it was dark all day and I can't remember the sun making it's debut even once. I hate days like this - they remind me of Canadian Novembers. They remind me of hot chocolate and pajama's and period piece movies. Of Wal-Mart afternoons and sub-titled films that you'd force me to watch. Days like this remind of all the wonderful things we do together and they serve as a cruel reminder of the distance between us. I can't be there right now - despite desire and at times desperation - but please know I love you over the time, miles and phone calls that seperate us - it's only temporary. Temporary, unlike my love for you that is unyielding, unending and at times like these, indescribably and almost painfully strong.

I miss you and I love you.
Jenny/Kiddo/Loser/JJ/Baby J/Me
xoxox

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how much I miss you J-J, especially now.
I miss all those little things that no one else but you would remember and especially the way you can make me laugh (even when I want to cry). You are beautiful inside and out. Thank you for being the best friend and sister I could ever hope for. I love you to death and can't wait to see you soon. Miss you.

Anonymous said...

My Dear Baby Girl, I finally made it through your blog and enjoyed it so very much. You have always been able to make me laugh like no one else on earth and it does my heart good. Thank you for being you! I am so very proud of you Jennifer (yes, even with the tattoo)! I loved the pictures, especially the tribute to your beautiful sister and for giving me some further insight into the "Day in a Life". No wonder you got that tatto, I just wish you could have found another outlet. I only visited for 2 weeks and I wanted to do something dastric too, but I was thinking more along the lines of a plane ticket home! But my trip did serve a purpose of this I am convinced. When I hear you girls talk about buying those precious BIN TAGS, I know I was somehow a part of that learning experience. I taught you to burn what you couldn't eat and hide what you couldn't afford a bin tag for. I taught you that you can indeed fit 4 tons of garbage into a bin bag designed to hold 500 grams. I taught you not stand too close the waters edge as it might be immiting some dangerous gases the likes of which this world has never known before. I wanted you to be a pioneer, just not in the noxious gases arena. Ah, those 14 balmy days and nights spent in Dublin. I will always remember that time with such sadness, sadness that you had to stay and I got to leave. You are a true pioneer Jennifer, a pioneer of spirit and you always have been. You don't need tattoos to tell your stories Jennifer, your spirit shines so brightly that anyone who cares to look can see it all in magnificent color. Dublin didn't make or break you Jennifer, Dublin was simply a place in time for your heart and spirit to grow. It will continue to do so wherever in this world you may go. Jennifer, you are a pioneer of Spirit and I love you my beautiful baby girl, with all my heart.

Jen said...

Now, none of you can argue that your Mom rocks more than mine ... hands down BEST MOM EVER.

smashee said...

your mama sounds beautiful and she loves you so much! you are blessed indeed to have such a precious mum who is indescribably proud of you and who appreciates and knows your Spirit. i love you pep cat.