Friday, May 04, 2007

Half a Tan and Strange "Jen Habits" (from April 30th)

After our little jaunt to the beach yesterday, I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror to see if I had gotten any sun. I was shocked and a little saddened to notice that "it" was still there. "It" being a tan line right down the center of my face. For some reason while suntanning yesterday, I could only get sun on one side of my body. I kept turning and adjusting and it still didn't work. So, by the end of the day one side of my face was red and warm and the other was white and cool. I figured it would go away and maybe even out a bit but NO, I woke up this morning with half my face a brownish-red and the other a whiteish-white. It's noticeable. It's stupid. It's time to self tan.

I've decided to start physically recording the awkward habits I've adopted in my recent years. They are varied and numerous and every time I catch myself in one of these habits, I make a mental note to a) stop doing it or b) write it down and share it with my loyal readers (thanks Muss). So, because I'm too lazy to stop doing them (I lack the discipline and motivation), I have opted for "plan b". I started recording them yesterday - I only have 2 so far but it was Sunday, my Sabbath so the weirdness was kept to a deliberate minimum. I will share these 2, as well as a few others that will undoubtedly spring to mind. Here we go.

Strange "Jen Habits"

1) Measurements. I can't cook. I'm not just saying that - I really can't. I have 4 trusted and true "recipes" that I can throw together if/when Domino's is closed, but that's it. I realized last night that this may be because I refuse to follow instructions. Case in point: as I made Hot Chocolate last night I INSISTED on checking the label for the proper measurements. The label advised "Place 2 heaping teaspoons into a mug of hot water/milk." I considered this and then took out a giant soup spoon and proceeded to ladle 4 heaped tablespoons into a mug the size of a shot glass. I caught myself and wondered aloud "Why do I bother reading the label when I know for a fact I will "adjust" it to whatever I see fit?" Maybe I just like to have the proper measurement in the back of my mind? Maybe I like knowing that I've broken the sacred Hot Chocolate rules? Maybe I enjoy the challenge of drinking my Hot Chocolate with a knife and fork because it's too thick for a straw? Anyways, I have no idea why I do this, but I know I do it with every kind of food measurement. I just read and then make up my own mind to use condiments, powder, salt/pepper, lemon, icing and milk with wild abandon. (By the way, the aforementioned ingredients are pretty much a comprehensive list of every material used to make one of the 4 dishes I mentioned above.)

2) One thing at a time. I have a religious way of eating. If I have a burger and fries, I absolutely have to eat the fries first and then the burger. The same goes with complex meals painstakingly prepared by my Mom. Example: Chicken dinner. We've got chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and a bun. I go in this order: veggies, bun, stuffing, mashed potatoes and chicken. It's not alphabetical, nor is it based on the location on my plate. I always follow the same pattern and I absolutely will not tolerate one food touching another. If my chicken touches my mashed potatoes I get upset. Not screaming and crying upset - but I have to seperate them and usually remove any hint of potatoes that may be on my chicken. Weird I know. This particular habit is (without fail) always pointed out by one or more visiting family members during Christmas dinner at which point I have to explain that "No, I'm not OCD, yes I know I'm just making things harder for myself, no I don't particularly mind eating my food seperately and YES Mom, I know that it tastes better when you have a little bit of everything on your fork but I can't help it. I don't like to eat that way!" And then things get awkward.

So for right now that's all I have for you guys - I will post again when I notice more. If I have a lot of crazy idiosyncrasies, I may turn this into a weekly thing.

More than Crazy,
Jen

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