Friday, May 04, 2007

What I HATE (May 3rd)

I hate it when I'm in a restaurant and a waiter/waitress/cook drops a plate or glass in the kitchen and some knuckle-head (seriously underused) CLAPS. That makes me so mad. How would you like it sir? How would you like to have your nose rubbed in it when you mess up at work? Here's what I'm going to start doing - the next time I hear someone clap patronizingly at the already horrified employee, I am going to follow that person to work the next day and just wait. I am going to wait as long as it takes. Hopefully this person works in an office so I can stand behind them while they're emailing and as soon as they make a spelling mistake I'm going to clap reeeeaaaaaalll slow and loud and say "Way to go Butterfingers ... yeah that's not how you spell "because". It's b-e-c-a-u-s-e not b-e-c-a-s-u-e. Wow, isn't your face red? Bet you're wishing there wasn't someone here to point out your little error hey? Bet it adds insult to injury to have a complete stranger sarcastically applauding your honest mistakes huh? Yeah ... yeah next time, more eating and less clapping Jack Ass!" And then, as if he hasn't had enough, I would take a plate and smash it on the ground next to his chair. I dare you to clap. I dare you.

More than Serious About That Game Plan,


Muss said...

So you are kinda piling onto the reasons why we can't be friends... What wierds me out is that I know you already have a list compiled from YEARS of watching this go on and can't wait to seek vengence for all those broken plates...I think I've got to get a new friend...Less crazy and maybe, just maybe, less homicidal...

Tina said...

Love it Jen. And we shall call you "Jen of Arc"- crusader for the clumsy.