For My Sister

I hope this picture tribute will make you smile - I tried to show you what a day without you is like for me. Funny, strange, rambly and always a bit sad. So here's some random events to make you smile and some inevitable truths to remind you - I love you.

Haha, I hate that man - he thinks he's above God. Literally. So I squished him. A few times.

Reminds me of Mom and her love for Angels. Wish you were here to take goofy tourist pics with me.

Making crazy faces to make you laugh at Eddie Rockets. Some day we will dine together once again.

Typical "Jenny Posing". Check out those chubby cheeks and dimples. Rewind 21 years and I looked exactly the same. Just less body hair.

Rushing through Dublin on the bus. Everything passes so quickly aside from the time. I miss you so much I ache inside.

Another Dublin statue. Gorgeous, celtic and stone. Love it. I looked like an idiot standing under this statue in the middle of a busy street trying to take this picture. I suffered for you Tina G!

The river - cold and dirty. So much of this place seems to fit that description. The spirit of the city is cold and unwelcoming at the best of times. I miss laughing with you.

Things are starting to become green and lush again. No matter how green it gets though, part of me longs for the hilarious drive through Saskatchewan to Alberta with you. The scenary can't be beat in the summer. And yes, "I wanna shoop baby".

All those spaces and I still feel there's no place for me in this city sometimes. So full and so lonely.

Thinking of you while sitting on the bus. There's nothing comforting about that view. Cranes crowd the skyline while clouds push down them. It seems like it will rain forever sometimes.

Remember when this area was all black from bonfires?? Art has replaced derelict Spencer Dock - it's almost too abstract to appreciate at times.

A man was shot a killed right outside those doors. I feel so callous when I casually walk in to get groceries or bin tags. I know they can't close the shop in respect for the life taken but sometimes I wish they would so I wouldn't feel so guilty.

Count 'em Tina. 6 on each foot - as always. Wrinkled baby feet - isn't that what you called them? "Wrinkled baby feet on a six toed freak".

My hairy nose. Thought you might appreciate this close up - as unflattering as it is to me.

My dimples - oh how you love them. I couldn't take a picture of the "other dimple" and post it cause that sort of picture belongs on a different site all together.

Our dark East Wall street. It was cold today and I wanted to sit and watch movies with you.

Abercorn Road - would love to have you here to poke fun at all the strange goings-on around here. Even the SIGN is run down and dirty!

The building I look at about 12 times a day - we'd love to buy it and fix it up for the kids but we lack the money and drive. So for now it's just wasted potential. Like so many things around here.

The sky today - it was dark all day and I can't remember the sun making it's debut even once. I hate days like this - they remind me of Canadian Novembers. They remind me of hot chocolate and pajama's and period piece movies. Of Wal-Mart afternoons and sub-titled films that you'd force me to watch. Days like this remind of all the wonderful things we do together and they serve as a cruel reminder of the distance between us. I can't be there right now - despite desire and at times desperation - but please know I love you over the time, miles and phone calls that seperate us - it's only temporary. Temporary, unlike my love for you that is unyielding, unending and at times like these, indescribably and almost painfully strong.

I miss you and I love you.
Jenny/Kiddo/Loser/JJ/Baby J/Me

xoxox

Some Pictures

We went out for supper with Kat and Karen last night - thye were only here with us for 3 days but it was lovely to have them. We got to go to the beach, go shopping and just hang out and have a great time with them.

Kat got that shirt on a pub crawl - that's right, it's a picture of David Hasslehoff and it says "I Heart Berlin" on the front.

Kiki and I at Eddie Rockets last night - after this the girls went to see some Irish Dancing and Live Music and I escaped back home to talk to Muss until the wee hours.

I love this picture and I don't know why ... she's one of my favourite kids and this was such a cute day - it was taken on Kiki's birthday when the neighbourhood kids drew her a huge card on the road with sidewalk chalk.

A better, clearer picture of my new tattoo - (I know it's big Mom). It's healing nicely due to the excessive amount of lotion I douse it with daily.

Because you haven't seen enough visual testimonies of the hovel that is our flat - this little tree somehow made it's way out of the cracks in the linoleum and grew to that height before we chopped it down. We were going to let it grow until we remembered that Kat and Karen were coming and they probably wouldn't find it as funny as we did.

When Andrea was here, Kiki tried to give her dread locks and when that didn't work, she ended up with braided extensions. Kiki is wearing the extra blonde hair and blowing a kiss to complete the "look".

I can't remember for the life of me what made Tasha laugh THIS HARD when wearing that fake hair but I love this picture. So much joy in our house at times.

And this is the picture I promised the lovely Sandra - we were talking on the phone and I somehow managed to drop a mirror on my EYE. If you look very closely under my eye, you will see a very small bump - this small bump actually turned into a full fledged black eye after 2 days. I rock.

More than Tired of this Internet Shop,
Jen

WWAMW (May 9th)

Here's another little installment of What's Weird About Me:

1) The guy that sits across from me in the office is the NICEST guy. He goes out of his way to make sure he smiles and says "Good morning" to me EVERY day. But for some reason, I have made it my goal to avoid that enigmatic smile and greeting - I purposely try not to meet his eye. I make a game of it. Not because I don't want to say "Hello" or I find him unpleasant in any way (he's actually gorgeous) but I am intent on seeing if it's possible. So far I've broken down every time cause I can just feel him glancing at me to see if he can catch my eye long enough to corner me into a "Hi". He always wins ... and so the game continues.

2) I daydream a phenomenal amount for one person. Sometimes I will leave my desk, go to the bathroom and sit in the stall (on top of the toilet) and just daydream for like 15 minutes. At a time. I do this throughout the day. I PURPOSELY SET ASIDE TIME TO DO IT.

3) I love acronyms. Love them. Use 'em every chance I get.

4) I used to read the dictionary. And the phonebook. The phonebook was more so to make fun of people with funny last names like "Pooran" (we pronounce it poo-ran as in if poo had legs and it ran - someone would say "Where's Poo?" and his friends would answer "Poo ran!!". Anyways, I don't read the dictionary anymore cause frankly I don't own one AND I am addicted to www.dictionary.com (it's everything I love - definitions, a thesaurus, ONLINE). But sometimes when someone asks me what a word means and I don't know, I make up the definition that sounds the likeliest in the context (I break down the word to figure out what it might mean - yes, this sometimes means breaking it down into LATIN if I happen to recognize part of the word) and tell them that's what it means and then I am obsessed with getting to a computer to find out if I was right. I lead a sad life.

More than Worried About Myself,Jen

Ode to Canada (May 8th)

The Top 10 Things I've Noticed/Learned to Appreciate About Canada Whilst Living Overseas

1) It's clean. It's not like walking thru a dog poo mine field when you go for a walk.

2) The people are overly friendly. Whenever I thank a waiter/waitress, they look genuinely shocked. And sometimes upset. Perhaps genuine gratitude is mistaken for sarcasm? More about that when you hit # 9

3) It smells nice. I have always maintained that Regina smells like sausages but it is NOTHING compared to the early morning Dublin stench that we are privvy to on our way to work each morning. It's like poo and grease ... it could peel the skin off a monkey.

4) It's quiet. You know what we wake up to each and every morning?? Beer kegs being thrown off a truck and subsequently smashing onto the cement and bouncing around for a while. Over. And. Over. We live next to a warehouse and I have grown to despise it.

5) It's vast. There are over a million people living in Dublin - a MILLION people in this city and you can still feel so alone. The city itself is small and it gets depressing having to look way wayyyy up to see the sky over the all the cranes and high rise buildings.

6) It's well dressed. Dublin fashion is ATROCIOUS. And I mean completely abysmal. Leggings under tiny shirts? LEG WARMERS AND STILETTOS?! In Canada you can still get checked out in a bunny hug and jeans but here?? You won't get a second glance (unless it's in disapproval) if you're not decked out like the Dublin City girls are. It's not nice. And it's not hot.

7) It's safe. I know Regina has had some issues lately with inner-city violence but unfortunately Dublin has is trumped. In every way. I won't go into detail but it's brutal, it's often and it's too close for comfort.

8) Canadians know how to spell! I can't stress this enough. People in Dublin don't spell check before they publish things. We are constantly finding spelling errors on everything! I saw a t-shirt being sold in a shop that "Women were ment to be seen and not heard". Aside from being offensive, since when is that how you spell MEANT?!? And don't even get me started on the newspapers.

9) It's sarcastic. People here don't appreciate sarcasm. A well place sarcastic comment will result in pity laughs and someone always takes offense.

10) It's pretty. Dublin isn't pretty. Leave Dublin, and it's beautiful - but the city itself is an eyesore. My Mom calls it the pimple on the arse of Europe. And she's NOT being sarcastic.

More than Patriotic Lately,
Jen

A New Tattoo and Spiderman Three-mo!

Consider this the official unveiling of the cool thing I did this weekend. As the subject of this post suggests, I got another tattoo! (Don't worry Mom, I just have the 2 now). Kiki and I headed down to Art Tattoo and got some seriously cool ink done by Michele and the guys. Kiki was a brave little soldier and got hers done first which you can check out by clicking this little link right here. Seriously, she just kept saying "Ow, ow ow ow ... it hurts it hurts ..." and I took a ton of pics which you will be able to view a little later on.

As for mine, it was torture of epic proportions but it was totally worth it. (Sorry for the terrible picture ... I am working on getting better ones - I swear it looks really nice) The artist who inked me was Portugese, very flirtateous and affectionally referred to himself as "The Butcher" - he thought it was funny that I didn't laugh after he advised me that he was feeling a little "heavy handed today". I am so glad I went thru with it and despite some less than thrilled reactions from family, the overall experience was awesome. We would both whole heartedly recommend all the lads down at Art Tattoo - check out their site for some really amazing art and tattoos by clicking right about HERE.

Today we went to see Spiderman 3 which I have obviously taken to calling Spiderman Three-mo. It was decent and that's being generous - CGI was a little excessive and the acting was terrible (aside from the epically gorgeous James Franco) and don't even get me started on Tobey's EMO MAKEOVER half way in. It's cheesy, it's silly but it's good for a laugh. And, definitely a good movie to catch if you like falling head over heels in love with James Franco (which I recommend with every fibre of my being).

Anyways, let me know what you think of Spiderman if you watch it any time soon and definitely weigh in on my new tattoo.

More than in love with Mr. Franco,
Jen

The End of the Week. And The End of the WEAK.

So BAM! All of a sudden it's Friday! I am beyond excited for the weekend. I can't tell you why, though one of "you" already knows why. But tomorrow (Saturday), I am going to do something very very cool. So prepare yourselves for the unveiling of the "cool thing I did" as soon as we can figure out how to post the pics.

Today is a weird day - I've been at work for all of 45 minutes and I am already mentally checked out. Strange. Normally I don't have this problem so early on in the day - must be cause it's Friday. I talked to Muss last night who kicked ass (naturally) on all her ... well ... school things. I can't remember if they were classes or projects so we'll just say "things". Please don't assume this means I wasn't paying attention - I was trying to be quiet for Kiki who was trying to sleep and advised me (in a fairly nice way) that I'd better get off the phone, or get out of the room. So, I checked myself before I subsequently wrecked myself and all was well again.

Talking to Muss always makes me long for School. Besides the fact that she's pretty much graduating at the top of her class, she's all accomplished and stuff. I have made it my goal to graduate at the top of MY class when I got to school in Fall 2008. I will not settle for mediocrity my friend - mediocrity is for the weak! I am many things but I am not weak.Wow, where did THAT come from?!

More than Thanking God It's Friday,
Jen

What I HATE (May 3rd)

I hate it when I'm in a restaurant and a waiter/waitress/cook drops a plate or glass in the kitchen and some knuckle-head (seriously underused) CLAPS. That makes me so mad. How would you like it sir? How would you like to have your nose rubbed in it when you mess up at work? Here's what I'm going to start doing - the next time I hear someone clap patronizingly at the already horrified employee, I am going to follow that person to work the next day and just wait. I am going to wait as long as it takes. Hopefully this person works in an office so I can stand behind them while they're emailing and as soon as they make a spelling mistake I'm going to clap reeeeaaaaaalll slow and loud and say "Way to go Butterfingers ... yeah that's not how you spell "because". It's b-e-c-a-u-s-e not b-e-c-a-s-u-e. Wow, isn't your face red? Bet you're wishing there wasn't someone here to point out your little error hey? Bet it adds insult to injury to have a complete stranger sarcastically applauding your honest mistakes huh? Yeah ... yeah next time, more eating and less clapping Jack Ass!" And then, as if he hasn't had enough, I would take a plate and smash it on the ground next to his chair. I dare you to clap. I dare you.

More than Serious About That Game Plan,
Jen

Some More "Strange Jen Habits" (May 2nd)

a) When typing Dublin, I always seem to type DUBLING or FUBLIN. Sometimes I don't catch my error and THAT bothers me more than the spelling mistake does.

b) I get narcissistic and narcoleptic confused all the time. It started in High school and persists to this day.

c) I have a habit of rearranging numbers to make patterns. Example: my phone number: 086 249 5909 = 2468 999 500 or I add them up - so my Dad's house number in Regina - 4115 would add up to 11 and 1+1=2 and there's 2 people who live there, 2 cars in the driveway, 2 couches in the living room etc. I know, this is so weird (possibly weirder than any of the other things I do) and I do it with loads of things. Example:

If I'm on the bus, I add up license plates numbers and make acronyms out of the letters that relate to the person in that car. So my old license plate was 306 EFX = 3+6+0=9. 9 years ago I was 13 and my actions we having horrible effects (EFX) on my family - hence 306 EFX.

I am so weird. Also, I am determined that the word "weird" is always spelled wrong. Wierd, Weird, they're both WRONG to me. No matter what the dictionary says.

More than That "W" Word,
Jen

TGFTTT (May 2nd)

I am thankful for many things this week so it was hard to narrow it down to 3 - so, in lieu of torturing you with Thank God For 30 Things Tuesday, I've decided to honour the month's end with Thank God For These Things Tuesday (I promise to keep it to a maximum of 5)

1) My new book - I am reading "The Book Thief" and you guys really ought to check it out. The way it is written is almost poetic - it's very moving and completely unlike any book I've ever read before. It's also funny. Well ... not too funny cause it's about Nazi's but still ...

2) The beach - I've already mentioned the "suntanning incident" so I won't dwell but just allow me to say, I have managed to even it out and I now have a healthy glow all over my face and chest. It's a lovely thing. Thank you Greystones Beach. I now don't have to wear coverup which shaves a few minutes off my morning routine and makes my face breath a sigh of relief.

3) My Mom - she got a webcam recently and her excitement at us being able to see eachother when we talk was adorable. As soon as she appeared on the screen I burst out laughing (she has this affect on me) and she started clapping her hands like an excited toddler. Super cute.

4) My new sunglasses - I caved and bought aviators. Kiki thinks they're hideous (this coming from the girl who needed me to bandage her feet because her new wicker/sequin shoes cut her feet into mince) but I love them.

5) Saskatoon - I am so thankful for the city of Saskatoon that will soon be my home for a good couple years. The course I want to take sounds amazing and they have this incredible indoor rock climbing facility that I can't wait to abuse.

So that's all for now - not too painful hey? I just wanna wish Shay a very Happy Birthday also - she's 20 today!! Can't wait to see you Shay!!

More than Rushing This Entry,
Jen

Half a Tan and Strange "Jen Habits" (from April 30th)

After our little jaunt to the beach yesterday, I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror to see if I had gotten any sun. I was shocked and a little saddened to notice that "it" was still there. "It" being a tan line right down the center of my face. For some reason while suntanning yesterday, I could only get sun on one side of my body. I kept turning and adjusting and it still didn't work. So, by the end of the day one side of my face was red and warm and the other was white and cool. I figured it would go away and maybe even out a bit but NO, I woke up this morning with half my face a brownish-red and the other a whiteish-white. It's noticeable. It's stupid. It's time to self tan.

I've decided to start physically recording the awkward habits I've adopted in my recent years. They are varied and numerous and every time I catch myself in one of these habits, I make a mental note to a) stop doing it or b) write it down and share it with my loyal readers (thanks Muss). So, because I'm too lazy to stop doing them (I lack the discipline and motivation), I have opted for "plan b". I started recording them yesterday - I only have 2 so far but it was Sunday, my Sabbath so the weirdness was kept to a deliberate minimum. I will share these 2, as well as a few others that will undoubtedly spring to mind. Here we go.

Strange "Jen Habits"

1) Measurements. I can't cook. I'm not just saying that - I really can't. I have 4 trusted and true "recipes" that I can throw together if/when Domino's is closed, but that's it. I realized last night that this may be because I refuse to follow instructions. Case in point: as I made Hot Chocolate last night I INSISTED on checking the label for the proper measurements. The label advised "Place 2 heaping teaspoons into a mug of hot water/milk." I considered this and then took out a giant soup spoon and proceeded to ladle 4 heaped tablespoons into a mug the size of a shot glass. I caught myself and wondered aloud "Why do I bother reading the label when I know for a fact I will "adjust" it to whatever I see fit?" Maybe I just like to have the proper measurement in the back of my mind? Maybe I like knowing that I've broken the sacred Hot Chocolate rules? Maybe I enjoy the challenge of drinking my Hot Chocolate with a knife and fork because it's too thick for a straw? Anyways, I have no idea why I do this, but I know I do it with every kind of food measurement. I just read and then make up my own mind to use condiments, powder, salt/pepper, lemon, icing and milk with wild abandon. (By the way, the aforementioned ingredients are pretty much a comprehensive list of every material used to make one of the 4 dishes I mentioned above.)

2) One thing at a time. I have a religious way of eating. If I have a burger and fries, I absolutely have to eat the fries first and then the burger. The same goes with complex meals painstakingly prepared by my Mom. Example: Chicken dinner. We've got chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, vegetables, and a bun. I go in this order: veggies, bun, stuffing, mashed potatoes and chicken. It's not alphabetical, nor is it based on the location on my plate. I always follow the same pattern and I absolutely will not tolerate one food touching another. If my chicken touches my mashed potatoes I get upset. Not screaming and crying upset - but I have to seperate them and usually remove any hint of potatoes that may be on my chicken. Weird I know. This particular habit is (without fail) always pointed out by one or more visiting family members during Christmas dinner at which point I have to explain that "No, I'm not OCD, yes I know I'm just making things harder for myself, no I don't particularly mind eating my food seperately and YES Mom, I know that it tastes better when you have a little bit of everything on your fork but I can't help it. I don't like to eat that way!" And then things get awkward.

So for right now that's all I have for you guys - I will post again when I notice more. If I have a lot of crazy idiosyncrasies, I may turn this into a weekly thing.

More than Crazy,
Jen

A Grad, Some Sand and 2 Great Videos

My beautiful Muss graduated yesterday from cooking school - or as I like to call it "Preparation For When Jen and Muss Live Together" school. I am so lucky - my best friend is a CHEF and we're going to reside under one roof in a frenzy of Little Britain and gourmet food with names I can't pronounce. Does life get any better than this?! I submit that it does not! So, I couldn't make it back for the graduation but felt like I was there cause I sent her a beautiful dress ... so at least I was kind of there.

Here's a link to her walking across the stage - she's so hot I could just spit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA5Lui5Tzc0

Today we went to the beach out at Greystones and had a fabulous time. Tasha and I stood at the water's edge and decided we would brave the frigid waters just to say we swam in the Irish Sea. Yeah. Never. Again. It was bloody freezing. Honestly, my body hurt from being so cold and the waves just took us out. We were standing there one moment laughing at how cold we were and the next moment we were being flung around like cheap rag dolls. The Irish Sea abused me. Quite literally. I now have a love/hate relationship with water so salty that it burned my retinas and permanently ingrained sand in my ass. Love ... but mostly hate.

Finally, I found this video quite by chance today and I am bursting with pride. I never talk to this boy and I missed his EP release but this video makes me feel like I was there. At least for one song. So check out the video and head on over to http://www.stephenjameslarsen.com/ to show some love for the biggest talent to ever hit Regina. That's right - EVER.

Go watch the movie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ6F1tS34KA

More than Proud,
Jen

Saturday ... More Like "Scattered-Day!"

I know I'm lame. Absolutely no need to point it out. Today we were at the airport saying goodbye to a tearful friend. It was hard and I will so so so miss her. She seemed to bring a little bit of "home" to me. Seeing her go was hard, but seeing her so sad was harder. I guess all I can do is pray. My thoughts are scattered today and I'm sure they don't make any sense ... here's a story about today:

As we got on the bus, we met a 19yr old American from New Jersey. He was like a 40yr old teenager. We listened as he philosphised about life and his travels and it struck me just how hard he was trying. I can't imagine living like that - always exhausting yourself trying to sound intelligent or brooding. I used to live that way - not brooding or anything - but I used to live in fear that everyone would find me out. I guess I felt I was living this lie, pretending to be whoever "they" wanted and I was terrified that one day I would be too tired to act and they'd all see the real me. That day came and I don't think I've ever felt so relieved. They saw me, they reacted, they love me. I am so blessed with fabulous friends. I 'd never go back to that life now - I'm comfortable in my own skin. Almost too comfortable - people are insulted by my comfort. I think people resent me for it too - I've come across a couple girls (never guys ... hmmm) that make nasty comments about my self confidence or self worth - they write it off as pride. I write them off as jealous.

Anyways, just wanted to share my rambly thoughts with you guys today.

Miss you all immensely.

More than Scattered,
Jen

TGFTTT and The Catch-Up!

Ok ok ... so working at a place that doesn't let you update your blog sucks! But, I have the best job so no complaints here. Anyways. This past week has been mental and I've been sucked into a dimension that consists of exhaustion, annoyance and pizza. Lots of pizza. For some reason I ordered pizza like 4 times this week. Today we ordered it as more of an anestethic than anything (I can't explain now but I will later. However, I made a fairly big decision. I am going to try and write short stories about life - little anecdotes of craziness - and I think I may try to get them published. I don't know, I'm not taking any of this seriously but I recently received an email from the University of Toronto regarding a scholarship for creative writing. Basically they want to fly me to Toronto to interview for this scholarship. I don't want the scholarship - but it was an honour to even be considered for such a coveted award. I'm not interested in pursuing writing as an educational discipline - once I start taking classes it becomes like work. And I don't write because I want to be a writer - I write because it's a form of self-preservation.

Anyways.

Thank God For Three Things Tuesday (I know it's late...):

1) My new phone - it makes cute noises when you open it!

2) My dad - he's healthy and happy and we have a pretty good relationship. I am very lucky.

3) Muss - She's always around when I need her, she gets me without me having to try and she genuinely loves me. Again, I am so very lucky.

I left my purse on a Dublin Bus this past week and it got royally nicked. So I had to go out and buy a new cell phone and everything. I was so mad I cried. And I haven't been that mad in a long time. Aside from that I've just been so tired for no reason. I think I am running on empty right now - need to head out to England to re-fuel. Chris gets deployed next week and his regiment is under a pretty big threat due to high profile soldiers etc (I can't get into details obviously but just trust me). I'm worried about him but not as worried as my Mom - she must be wrecked.

That's really all that's going on at the moment - I think we're all tired and ready for our mini break to England at the end of May. I am delighted to have 4 days with Mom and hopefully some sun tanning in the back yard. I will post more when ... more happens.

More than Boring,
Jen

P.S. Want to make your own candy hearts?? Click right here !

Dr. Seuss and Dr. Freud

Kiki recently bought a book from our childhood - and I'm sure it's from yours too. It's called "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" and it's of course, a Dr. Seuss book. Now, here's my issue. For some reason, Dr. Seuss wasn't a huge part of mine and Tina's childhood - we were more into Robert Munsch to be honest. So we delighted in "Mortimer - Be Quiet!" and "The Paper Bag Princess". Robert Munsch is a genius - he absolutely is. HOWEVER, the book entitled "A Promise Is A Promise" scared the life out of me. Seriously, I am listening to the audio version of it right now, and I've got chills. This is so twisted. How did other children not revolt when this book came out?! It's the book that haunts me in my dreams - I remember it so strongly. I understand that they used to tell little Inuit children to stay away from the ice cause they would get sucked under by a monster ... but the pictures ... they were so dark. I'm not going to retell the whole story right now but just trust me, it was terrifying.

Anyways, I had serious issues with the whole story though I'm sure any therapist (Freud included) would chalk it up to commitment issues or a need for rebellion - nothing a couple pills and some over priced couch time can't fix. So, I just wanted to share that little story with you. I know you don't care - but hey, if you're willingly reading this, you should know better by now.

More than Mental,
Jen

The Shoes of Glory (SOG)

Well, I just took these shabby pictures of my new shoes for you guys. I am seriously chuffed about them. They are so pointy and sparkly - they are so not me. I can't walk in them yet as the heels are a bit too big, but I spend about 10 mins in them every day just teaching myself - so by the time I have some place nice to wear them, I should be good to go!! They go nicely with my DOF also - everything ties together beautifully. Anyways, now I just have to find a nice restaurant to wear the whole ensemble to. Wish me luck - and enjoy the shabby pics taken with the shoe perched on the top of the computer screen.

More than Pathetic To Assume You're This Interested,
Jen

The Dress of Fabulousness

So, the last 2 posts from "today" aren't actually from today. I couldn't blog at work because of the firewall so I just emailed blog entries to myself and copy and pasted them today. I swear, I am so dedicated to life in the blogosphere that it's terrifying. Anyways, here's the dress of fabulousness and other visual delights.

Me and Cameron!!!

I love Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice

cream so Kiki bought me the mini lip gloss !!

Cutest. Picture. EVER.

That's right kids - we can't afford proper toys so c'mere and let Aunty Jen put a dirty pylon on your head!

This was the funniest game I've ever played.

Kiki, Tasha, Myself and "the team" which consisted of Joe and Jill. Love those guys.

Oh the Dress of Fabulousness

A clearer shot - it looks nicer ON me!

Me, Aaron, Jill and Kiki - he is so lovely.

The day I met Colin Farrell - you can't tell by the angle but he's sooo grabbing my rear.

Dylan and I - this was a really great night - he just kept telling me he loved me.

So that's all for now but if you check out the Jortosh Ireland Blog you will see more ministry pics!

More than Sweating,
Jen

BWAD and TGFTTT

Yes, I know that's a lot of acronyms for one title but bear with me - it may be madness but there is method in't. Today is the best day and the worst day all at the same time. Best day because my hair is clean and straight and smells nice AND I used kids detangler this morning (as usually brushing my hair right after I get out of the shower is like trying to tame a rabid jungle cat with q-tip) and it totally worked!! Pain and tear free - just like the delightful green bottle promises.

Anyways, today is also the worst day because I can't seem to get anything done!! I am christening today "Blatant Work Avoidance Day" or BWAD. I have a stack of work to do but I am essentially saying "Hey, I don't care about YOU! Westjet.com is much more interesting." Which, truthfully, it is.

Also, today is the much anticipated return of Thank God For Three Things Tuesday!! (For a delightful spin-off of this tradition visit Muss' blog and check out the post entitled What The Hell Wednesdays!) Here's the three things I am thankful for today:

1) My boss. She is a delightful person who laughs too hard at inappropriate things and displays genuine shock (and a little concern) at the fact that I keep coming in and donig my job every day. It's been a week and she can't believe I haven't quit by now. She makes this fun.

2) Muss. She texts me at like 2am (my time) and expects that I will call her back. And the best part is - if I wake up to that text, chances are I WILL call her back. I am so thankful that she is the one person who can spark such a reaction from me.

3) Starbucks. If I haven't mentioned it already - there is a subsidised Starbucks in the basement of our office. It's amazing - you just go down there and let Michael (the friendly and oddly un-creepy manager) make you a Grande Mocha complete with whipped cream (at no extra charge!). So you get service, subsidised S'bucks and a smile all of for €2.20. It doesn't get much better than that.

I know you're still waiting on the pictures of my beautiful dress but I haven't grabbed the c.d. from Tasha yet. I will try to do it tomorrow. I've got women's group tonight so I won't be uploading anything.

Anyways, Muss - I will try to call you tonight. If anyone else is reading this ... uh ... thanks.

More than Productive,
Jen

The New Job and Other Ramblings

So I've started my job at The Bank and it's great. I'm serious - this job is IDEAL for anyone who is as anti-social as I have been lately. It's stupid. I am repelled by most people/gatherings. I hate this "season" because I go through it every year and never seem to come out of it without having hurt someone I love. Well, I guess I will just have to plow through again this year and see what happens. We've had Joe and Jill with us for the past week and it was fabulous - I say WAS because they left today. It was nice to have 2 people we love so much within shouting distance for once. I admittedly didn't manage to emerge from my self-isolation long enough to spend much time with them (bummer, sorry lads) but I also have the convenient Work Excuse. See, Kiki and Tasha were able to take time off from work to spend with them whereas I didn't have that luxury. Now that I think about it, I really didn't spend much time with them at all. Ah man .. what a waste.

Aside from all that, I am breezing through my piles of work at a pace that impresses and worries me. If I get through this stuff too fast I will put myself out of a job. I am only on a 6 week assignment and from the way things are looking right now - I will be done within the next 2 weeks. Eeek! So, I bought a beautiful dress the other day. Honestly guys, it's breath taking. I saw it and I just KNEW. I shall now refer to it as the Dress of Fabulousness or DOF. It fits me perfectly and there was even a matching shawl (convenient for those of us that loathe and detest their arms). Now I am just looking for shoes. High Heels. BLACK. HIGH. HEELS. I know, normally the world would crumble before I would ever wear a girly dress and heels at the same time but take cover my friends because the time is nigh! I don't have any special occasions coming up to wear the DOF and heels to - but maybe the girls and I will get all dressed up and hit the town in Greece or something. I just thought it was about time that I bought myself something pretty and feminine. I will be posting pictures of the DOF and it's besotted owner some time this week so keep your eyes peeled. It's bound to be fabulous.

I should dash as I am at work and posting this long blog entry from my work email. Ah yes, making good use of company time and resources. AS USUAL. Speaking of "dash" - here's a little "did you know?" for the road. We call Pepsi from the tap "fountain pop" in Canada but here it's called DASH. Isn't that crazy?? "No ma'am, we don't have bottles of Pepsi but can I get you some "dash" Pepsi?" Why yes you can adorable Polish waitress. Yes. You. Can.More than Besotted, (great word eh Muss??) Jen

Blindsided and Angry (Oh, and TGFTTT)

BLAH. Today started out SO WELL. I got offered that job at the Bank this morning so that was great but now the company that I'm at seems to be making a sport out of screwing me over (excuse the expression - I'm a little angry). My last day was supposed to be Friday, but they emailed me at the end of business on Friday and said "Oh yeah, make sure you come in on Tuesday to discuss your contract etc cause we were supposed to give you 4 weeks notice and didn't" So I'm thinking SWEET! They'll pay me out! But I got in today and they advised that no, they expect me to work for the next 2 weeks during their billing period. When I told them I can't because my new job starts tomorrow, (which they don't believe) they said "Well then I guess you quit, in which case we don't pay you out your holidays or for the 4 weeks notice we didn't give you" So, in essence, they are forcing me to quit because I can't work here for the next 2 weeks. The part that really burns me? They KNEW I had this interview this morning. On Friday they KNEW that I was trying to get a job this week and they still decided not to tell me that they expect me to be here for the next 2 weeks. So, now that I'm not giving THEM 4 weeks notice, I'm not entitled to severance or any kind of compensation. This is a mess.

Anyways, here's 3 Things I'm Thankful For This Tuesday:

1) My new job - even if I never get this mess sorted out, my new job looks lovely and mindless which is just what I wanted.

2) My iPod - it causes me to walk into things and mishear people (or not hear them at all) but it has brought an awful lot of joy to my life as of late. I like being able to tune out Dublin's noisy streets and just focus on my music.

3) Kiki - she is so outraged at this whole work mess that it's funny. I like how defensive she is of me.

So that's all for now. I will update again soon on how this whole gong show plays out.

More than Frustrated,
Jen

Well I Didn't See THAT Coming!

** That picture is of a painting called "Wednesday Morning" - I am determined to always make things fit **

So, yesterday I woke up and thought "Hmm, today feels weird. I hope I don't lose my job ..." and then I brushed it off and continued on with my day. Then, at around 3pm, my boss calls me into a meeting with her and the owner of the company. Uh oh. I had 10 minutes until the meeting started so I frantically emailed Kiki. This was our conversation (and YES, I actually copy and pasted all these emails into my blog for public viewing):

Jen: I just got called into a meeting with the bosses. I think I'm going to get fired. I'm so scared .. so scared ... oh my gosh ...

Kiki: Jen I am sure its not what you think-- maybe its just to talk about the retention program you started or something..... I am sure it will be fine.

Jen: I dunno man, I'm always getting in trouble lately.

Kiki: Jen, they still have PONCER WORKING THERE!! you won't get fired!

Jen: I guess ...

** 20 minutes later this exact email was sent **

Jen: well you were wrong. we've been taken over by another company and i've lost my job. i'm happy though - i seriously promise that i am not upset. my last day will be friday.

Kiki: WHAT? OH MY GOD...

Jen: yeah. didn't see that one coming.

And ... SCENE. Yes, wasn't that an epic retelling of real events? So, just to build on the whole thing - No, I'm not upset. I didn't want this job in the first place - I just loved the people and the money! And, I've been thinking of leaving for a while but I promised God I would stick it out until He released me. So I guess He has! Thanks Lord. An email would have been more than sufficient.

My boss cried the whole time we were talking about it and reminded me that it had nothing to do with my work ethic, that I'm a "star" and she will give me an amazing reference etc. So today, I sent my CV to a couple agencies and I already have a job lined up for next week!

What sucks: I have holidays booked for later this year that I only booked because I would have been getting paid for them ... I haven't been here long enough to get paid out for my vacation time either. Awesome.

What rocks: No more commuting an hour each day, no more call center! Also, temping is what I wanted to do in the first place and now I get to again - so I get paid weekly and don't have to stick around any ONE place. And lastly, I no longer have to worry about only taking 3 weeks of vacation! I can go on tons of trips if I have the money! Woo hoo!!

There's always a silver lining folks. Always.

More than Optimistic,
Jen

Free Hugs

Now, you'd never get away with this here in Ireland, but I think this is a great video. I actually cried while watching it (but that could be because it's an overly emotional time of the month for me ...). So be patient and watch all the way to the end when hugs get banned and they launch a petition looking for 10,000 signatures to reinstate hugs! Trust me, it's good.

Just What I Like To See

Now that I've figured out how to add videos to my blog, we're all in for a lot of fun. But I promise to try and add only videos that are at least somewhat amusing or interesting. So in other words, if it's on here, it's worth a look. Like this fabulous video:

Alanis covers "My Humps"

I just don't know what to say ... I've never seen anything like it in my life ...

Thank God For 3 Things Tuesday!

Welcome to the second edition of TGFTTT. I have to make this quick because I only have 15 minutes and I'm sure I will spend 14 of those minutes looking for pictures to SPICE UP my post! Here we go ...

1) The "title bar" on my blog. I lost it for like 4 months and all of a sudden it just appeared back on my posts!! I know you guys don't care cause the formatting looks pretty much identical but still - it rocked my world.

2) Muss. I talked to her for like ... an hour and a half this morning and it was a really great way to start my day. I awoke with a clear head at exactly 5am HOLDING MY CELL PHONE. I don't know why cause I know I didn't fall asleep holding it. So anyways, we talked and it was great and I am so excited to live with her some day soon.

3) TAX SEASON - everybody say it with me now .... CHA CHING!! And because my sister is lovely and treasured, she has already gone and had my taxes done so I already know that I am due a tasty refund in a couple weeks!! Woo hoo!!

I talked to my Mum, my Dad, my Sister and beautiful Sharon last night. It was an emotional evening as Mum and I had a heart to heart and I went to bed with closure that I have been needing for a long time. It was awesome.

Anyways, that's about all for now - I have to go hunt for somewhat relevant pictures for this post.

More than Stoked,
Jen

And Now Something To Lighten The Mood ...

Sorry if I depressed everyone with that last post. I am only now getting over the initial shock (and I read that article 2 hours ago!) So, I figured I would post something to make you smile. Here you go:

Now, if that doesn't make you smile I'm afraid to tell you - you don't have a soul.
More than Grinning,
Jen

** Disclaimer: I in no way agree with the views expressed in the photos or news article below, nor do I support the spread of it's lies via blog, email or other sources. I am posting the following information for special interest purposes only. I am in no way affiliated with the site www.godhatesfags.com or any of its supporters **

I haven't been this disturbed or sad in a very long time. The people in my office were discussing a documentary on BBC2 last night and they involved me in the conversation because I am Christian. I will post the following article for you to make up your own minds... I think it is atrocious, disgusting and certainly not approved by God. Please join me in praying for the people who believe these lies, the families that have been hurt by them, and the anger that I know is surrounding this controversy.

God's squad

They picket the funerals of dead soldiers, hate homosexuals and lament an America sliding in to the moral abyss. Louis Theroux meets the Phelps - the most hated family in America

In the annals of strange religious groups, the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, occupies a place of some distinction. Just 71 strong, its congregants made their name in the mid-90s by picketing gay pride rallies and the funerals of Aids sufferers, waving placards of unbelievable insensitivity ("Fags Eat Poop", "God Hates You"). More recently, they've ratcheted up their ministry of hate by taking the pickets to the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan ("Fag Military", "Thank God For Dead Soldiers").

Note these aren't gay dead soldiers (which, while no less hateful, would at least have a scintilla of logic). Any soldier's funeral will do. Their reasoning is that America is so depraved anyone who fights under her flag is a "fag enabler", and thus, an enemy of God.
The Phelps family consider these practises the true definition of Christian love, proving that what they lack in compassion they more than make up for in creative exegesis. For three weeks, I lived with the Phelps, attempting to get to know the people responsible for such a poisonous ministry. The pastor of the church, and the originator of the picketing concept, is Fred Phelps. He's also the patriarch of the family. But Gramps (as he's known in the family) is getting on in years, and these days it's his daughter Shirley who does most of the organising and the media appearances.

Shirley is in her 40s, a lawyer and mother of 11 children, and she has a kind of genius for religious invective. Several times I was on the receiving end of one of her biblical smackdowns, in which she heaped scriptural opprobrium on my head, then provided a graphic account of what it would be like for me to burn in hell for all eternity. It was a little like being waterboarded by John the Baptist.
Naturally part of my regimen was joining the Phelps on their pickets. These take place several times daily. As well as soldier's funerals, they also target local churches, civic buildings, visiting dignitaries, concerts by pop bands... In fact, there's almost nothing that the Phelps can't construe as part of the general climate of iniquity, and therefore a legitimate target. One weekly picket targets a hardware store that sells Swedish vacuum cleaners.

Apparently, Swedish authorities imprisoned a local pastor for preaching against homosexuality, thereby making the whole nation a target. For the newcomer, these pickets are bizarre not simply because of the outrageousness of the signs, but also because of how they clash with the banality of the family's interaction. For the Phelps, it's another day at the office - there's a watercooler ambience of relaxed chit-chat. Meanwhile, everyone - even the youngest children - carries placards saying "Thank God For 9/11" and "Your Pastor Is A Whore".

And yet, away from the pickets, they were - much of the time - very, very normal. Not just normal, but intelligent and urbane. They're not hillbillies, they're urban professionals - several work as lawyers in Topeka. The young members look like kids you'd run into at the mall. Weird Christian women are supposed to have sallow skin and dress in headdresses, but the Phelps girls were all-American, with long hair and good teeth. They listened to indie bands like the Killers and the Kooks and could banter humorously on non-biblical subjects. If anything, the hostility they've created seems to have forced them closer together, and, among themselves at least, they're a warm, loving family (which explains why the younger members don't all flee the minute they can afford a bus ticket).

As for Gramps, I had two interviews with the man. In my first encounter, I asked him how many children he had. For some reason he took exception to this, which set the tone for the second encounter. This took place in church one Sunday at the end of one of his sermons, preached on the subject of America's coming tribulations. "You're going to eat your babies!" he bellowed. Gramps still had the remnant of a folksy, plain-spoken charm, but the dominant note in his personality was a bitter contempt for humanity in general and me specifically. In an effort to keep the conversation going, I trotted out some bible quotes I'd memorised the night before. The interview was over in about five minutes. It seemed I was a hell-bound sinner. At least I was in good company.

Did I make any headway? A little, with the girls. In challenging circumstances, I console myself with the thought, expressed by Friedrich Nietzsche, that "Even when you lie, you nevertheless tell the truth with the shape your mouth makes when you are doing so." Being young and hopped up on hormones, the junior Phelps couldn't help telling a story with the shape of their mouths. One girl appeared to short-circuit when pressed on the subject of boyfriends, and later expressed angry bafflement that the Phelps' "caring" ministrations were so little appreciated by the locals. Even Shirley showed signs of empathy on the way to a soldier's funeral, though she quickly stifled them with a flight of bible talk.

I found a lot to like about the Phelps. They have a strong family unit, and Gramps aside, they were open and hospitable. It was fascinating to see the power of a family to create its own bizarre ideology and pass it down through the generations. But I guess I'll be seeing you all in hell.
· Louis Theroux: The Most Hated Family In America, 9pm, BBC2, Sun

Remember Me? Monday

That's it?! The weekend was like 2 minutes long! I'm back at work and clearly enjoying myself. I got two great emails today! One was from a girl I knew in Highschool whom I completely adored - she wanted to know what I was up to etc. It was cute - I'm glad she's doing well. And the other was from my friend Hilary!!! She's all married and stuff now!! My goodness. She's living in Korea with her HUSBAND. Man, I think it's been ... like 6 years?? Maybe more? Anyways, she's lovely and so funny and I've never forgotten her - I was thinking about her last week and now she emailed me - I must be just a little psychic. I am going to use my newfound powers to play the ponies tonight. Look out world!

Anyways, welcome back to my life Hilary and girl from highschool! Here's a tribute to you Hil:

The crazy French guys next door had a huge party on Saturday night and Kiki had to storm outside at half 4am to stop them from playing "trash can drums". Apparently she hurtled out of bed, threw on her shoes, flung open the door and just stared until they slinked back inside. Atta girl Keek, I've taught you well. Early morning rage seems to be an all too common occurence around our place. Usually I am the one terrifying the neighbours. It was nice to have a break.

There's not a lot to say as it's only Monday and nothing great has happened to me yet. I am looking for a fancy outfit to wear in case I ever have to go to a wedding or something. Dublin is totally the place to get nice clothes cause they're relatively cheap and most have that sophisticated European look. Anyways, this is what I want - except with black pants. I think it's just gorgeous but I can't be trusted with anything white, so I immediately opted for the black pants. And, of course, I hate my arms so I will be wearing some form of black sweater or shawl or something with it. Yeah, like I will ever have an excuse to buy this outfit. Muss and I are confirmed bachelor-ettes for the rest of our days and Kiki is never allowed to get married. Looks like Tina is my best bet but she hangs out with me too much - I scare all the guys away with my intimidating protective vibe (I so wish I was as scary as I claim to be).

Anyhoo, that's about all I have for today. I know like 3 people read my blog and I just feel the need to apologize to you. I never have anything good to say on Mondays ... ever. But maybe tonight on the way home I'll get mugged or run over or something. And then LOOK OUT! I will inform the HECK out of you.

More than Uninteresting,
Jen